What DON'T you like at weddings?

My personal peeves:

Sweetie tables (I don't see the relevance)

Long waits with no refreshments (It's hot, I'm thirsty! Please just have glasses of water!)

Everything matching exactly. (Bridesmaids knickers? Check...)

Bad DJ's (Puppy Love anyone?)

Roast dinners for the breakfast (nothing worse than badly mass produced gravy)

I'm sure there are more though!!

Oh dear, I hit 14 out of your list. Eeek!!

Family politics

Long lists of boring group formals

Big flowers which end up blocking the groom in every photo

Bridal magazine lists of "What to ask your photographer"

I'm not holding back - seeing as half my wedding has been trashed on all the other lists!

I hate:

Sweetie tables/buffets

Children - all of them, especially under 5 years

more than 3 bridesmaids

ANYTHING pink or purple

White wedding dresses - they flatter no-one

Balloons

50 something guests thinking they are still 20 something with their outfits and dancing

Butterfly theme

Movie theme

Vintage/shabby chic/tea party theme

Camper vans and red buses

Church weddings in general, but especially when neither the bride or groom attends said church

Fruit cake

Discos

Brides in heels that they obviosly can't walk in

Anyone in orange fake tan

I've thought of more:

receiving lines

balloons a little bit but unfortunately my mum decided to surprise me with balloons at the top table ?

Some t*t thought since our surname is Boyle they would put boiled sweets on the table. Looked so fecking stupid, out of place and grrrrrr. So this isn't relevant to anyone elses wedding but I thought considering I'd put effort into how the tables looked that cluttering them with stupid sweets was a shame.

Sugared almonds

Jude, you misery guts. How boring your wedding will be. Think you have probably just offended 90% of everyone who just read this post!

Absolutely WSS!!

I hate:

LIVE BANDS- Number 1

Balloons as centrepieces- especially the big foil bride and groom ones

Recieving lines- with a passion

Limos/Horse carriages

Short bridesmaid dresses/unmatching BM dresses

Uncovered chairs

Buffets instead of meal

Church weddings

Lack of attention to detail

Brides/ Bridesmaids whose boobies are clearly too big for the style of dress they are wearing

Balloons

Sugared almonds

Drunk guys stripping off on the dancefloor

The big group 'everyone wave at the photographer' pictures

I also hate ceilidhs

Errm...what does veryone have against bands and singers? Can't see anything particularly offensive there. unless you mean cheesey tribute bands?

Not to everyones taste... I love a good band... in a pub or at a concert... not at a wedding.

Oooo what a good thread.

Balloons

Children/babies

Sweetie tables

long speeches

choc fountains

discos

drunken brides/bridesmaids

Men showing their bits off under the kilt, its not neccessary or pleasant.

dull buffets - sandwhich sausage roll quiche (and thats what we had but sooo dull)

ceremonys under 10 mins

ring cushions

page boys (why???)

and a hotel who cant keep check on their toilet roll stock in the loos!

thats all I can think of just now...

This post is hilarious!

I just have to ask, WTH is a "speech sweepstake"?!

I have thought of a couple more things which will probably offend the majority of people on here but here goes:

* weddings any time between August 31st and May 1st. To me, weddings are for the summer! (To be fair this is mainly because I HATE the cold SO much.)

* weddings on New Year's Eve, too close to Christmas or on Valentine's Day. Doubly annoying. Your wedding day should be about YOU and not NYE, Christmas or V-Day!

* when people can't just relax and enjoy the day, instead they have to effectively view the day through a camera lens. PUT IT DOWN. There is an official photographer for a reason! Just enjoy the day for pete's sake, stop flashing your stupid camera in my face!

I've done quite well out of this list, I think my only hit so far is coloured shoes! But I'm not going to mention anything else about my wedding now in case everyone jumps on it, lol.

Mine-

Receiving Lines- OMG shoot me. I want a drink and my feet are sore. Let me in the *** venue.

Too-organised Photos- I hate those shots of everyone stood in a line.

Animals- fish, insects, whatever. It's a wedding not a zoo.e.

Really boring speeches.

Back Fat- seriously, not acceptable. Try your dress on!!!

Matching bridesmaids- there is always one who looks a bugger.

Really sober guests- OK I don't want any sloshed relatives vomiting on the dancefloor, but I think it's really embarassing when no one looks like they are enjoying themselves.

Vintage style wedding cars- I can't explain I just think they are attrocious.

The usual- feathers, glitter everywhere, hummers etc.....I think we have established mainstream naff by now.

Sweet tables- just not for me.

How odd, you cant beat a good live band at a wedding... maybe its just something to do with tradition - fiddle and accordian as the simplest form of entertainment..... but a dj just doesnt cut it..... plus theres good banter......

Throwing my 2pennys worth in:

Now that I am an old married I think "What a horrible thread!" Before I was married I would have loved a thread like this.

I spent half my wedding day worrying about other people, where they having a good time, was the food ok, did the cake look alright? Did I look awful etc etc etc, The only thing I *dislike* about weddings is quite simply when it becomes a day that is not about marriage, instead people get too caught up in the needless detail and forget to have a good time and celebrate love.

Oh and balloons, I don't like balloons ?

Oh ok, you mean like a pop/rock band? when I hear 'wedding band' I think of a swing or jazz band.

But yeah that's the exact same reason why I hate djs - ok on a night out clubbing, but doesn't seem quite right for a fancy wedding.

Some of these posts are so funny

I played this at a recent wedding - requested by the Bride ? during a meeting.. with a bunch of other similar songs. It did break the ice, and whilst its not the kind of songs I'd normally play, it was her choice. (which is the important thing to remember!)

Most people don't want the "peter kay" style DJ, and some couples have told stories about DJ's singing over songs all night. Very cringeworthy!!
I think from recent client meets, this is one of the most single comments - a chatty DJ. Most of us will be wearing a tux, make annoucements as required, and help the party flow (if needed), but certainly not sing over songs or speak over most tracks.

The DJ we've picked specialises in Retro discos, so lighting and music from the 70's/80's, but he can obviously do the modern tracks too. However, he won't be wearing flares and a tacky afro wig! lol

The comments about chair covers (get better looking chairs) is spot on... Our venue (BobSleigh Inn) is supposed to be getting new chairs in, so we'll keep on top of that and pop over to view the new ones.
I'd prefer not to spend £££ on 50 or 60 chair covers, and would much prefer to spend it on nicer wine ?, possibly extra entertainment, or something else (or towards our honeymoon!)

Professionally, I try not to have any opinions about peoples weddings, its ultimately the B&G's (or probably just the Bs lol) choice on how to celebrate their day. The guests may have other ideas, but I would hope the keep them quiet on the day and just go with the flow.

So, the Elvis impersonator, Dove release and Karaoke is probably not for me, but its not my wedding. I'm just pleased they have a great day.

Completely agree with you! I've been caught out by a cash only bar and had to get a txi 5 miles from venue and back for nearest cash machine (Was not impressed!)

Page Boys!! They just want to run round or roll on the floor- let them!!

First thing that sprang to mind was balloon centrepieces- also attended a wedding where the B&G said their vows under a red and white balloon arch?!

I don't like centrepieces that block you from seeing other guests on your table! Such a waste of money when they have to be moved to the floor!

Not a fan of karaoke either, but neither was my sister and by 10pm at her wedding, some quite drunk guests managed to get hold of the DJs microphone...luckily she didn't notice!!

I also have a couple of the things that have been mentioned above in my wedding lol- lots of you seem anti-hat, which I was until my mother insisted she had to have one and it was traditional to do so...Might just show her this thread tomorrow

I don't like:

The thought of me worrying about whether people think my Wedding is tacky

Balloons

Hummers

(Bad) Artificial flowers

Coloured Wedding Dresses

The vast majority of bridal shoes- so ugly!!!

Personally, dresses with pintucks

Brown suits

Cake Toppers

Hehe this is funny!! For me: non-church weddings (SORRY in advance!!!!) doves, goldfish!, non-floral centrepieces, balloons, DJs but especially DJs who talk!, cupcakes, coloured wedding dresses, short bridesmaid dresses, bland hotel rooms, more than one wedding at the same place at the same time, fights at weddings. I love the fact that pretty much every style of wedding has been covered here though - good we are all individuals. Also a couple of brill things to check that I've added to my to do list (we've a paybar at the barn, need to check they take card payment!).

Wow, this thread really took off haha!

More from me:

Ill-fitting dresses. Whether it be gaping at the boobies or holding in all your fat and splooging it all over the top.. We can all see it doesn't fit right! The worst is when you see folds on the boobies!

Horrid, ugly wedding cakes that look like a toddler has vomited/scribbled all over them.

Cheap "made to measure" ebay/chinese dresses where the bride has clearly sent in her "I wish" measurements and it doesn't quite cover her boobs enough.. No need for flashing on your wedding day!

Homemade invitations where people have just bought a bit of card and stuck crappy stickers on saying "Wedding/Evening invitation" and tied a ribbon, badly.

Centrepieces with those white or black tall vases with huge feathers sticking out of the top.

Fishbowl centrepieces with flowers in.

Fibre optic centrepieces ?

Fake tan!

Ivory or white bridal shoes.. Yuck, I'm yet to see a nice pair and don't understand how someone can buy such a horrid pair of shoes.

When the groomsmen aren't assigned a suit and told to wear their own. I like to be able to work out who each person is.

Being told what to wear on the invitations.. Cheeky ****s.

Having no alternative to alcohol at the wedding breakfast.. I don't want council pop!

Crap/long best man speeches.

Horrible chairs. Either cover them or hire nice chairs!

Registry office weddings.

Wedding dresses with straps.. Just don't generally like them.

Ring cushions.. Pointless and ugly.

Veils.. Long ones I mean. Birdcages are acceptable.

Stupid themes - Football, sci-fi, princess etc.

Fireworks

Chinese lanterns

No waiting around.. Or atleast entertain us, if I wanted to chat with my OH I'd be curled up on the sofa in my comfy clothes not all dressed up standing around bored! This includes having to wait for the Bride/Groom (I've had to wait 1 hour and 40 minutes before!!)

Groom and Groomsmen wearing stupid ties.

Crappy vegetarian choices, why do people think all veggies want nutty/goats cheese dishes!

Spelling mistakes on Invitations/Menus/OOTDs etc.

Standard packages where everything is included; table centrepieces etc - Get some imagination.

Poorly dresses rooms.. The smaller details are the best.

Wishing wells.

Being seperated from my OH - Why would I want someone I've never met before plonked between us in the hope we 'mingle'.

Fruitcake - Yuck!

Dark coloured wedding dresses.

White suits.. Urgh! Not even nice for a beach wedding!

Uniforms being worn in place of suits.

Garters, ugh!

I think I might be guilty of a few 'dislikes' but hopefully nothing TOO horrendous...

My dislikes:

Seating plans - or at least poorly thought out ones. I would feel uncomfortable if I thought my guests were uncomfortable, and I can't think of anything worse than being stuck on a table with three of the worlds dullest couples (who you don't know) and having to make small talk for the evening

Waiting HOURS for the photos to be over and done with, especially when the TOGS take millions of of family photos and you're in the friend category that's sort of tagged on the end after waiting ages - dammit, I'm hungry by then!

Wedding favours that aren't obvious - if you're having a sweetie table, make it obvious to guests that you can help yourself. I sat there at one wedding checking out the bowl of chocolates wondering if I could have one or if they were for decoration FFS!

In-jokes in speeches

Rooms where the tables are laid in a line and the 'head' table is in the middle - there's nothing like knowing you're the loser who has to sit at the table furthest away, was I an afterthought?!

Props used in speeches where, unless you're on the table nearest the head table (see above), you can't see a sodding thing

Jokes that aren't funny - one FOB used "bridezilla" or "mother of the bridezilla" at least 10 times in his speech - YAWN!

Children at weddings - sorry I know this is controversial - or should I specifically say, children at MY wedding. I don't want to hear children crying when I say "I do" or when I'm being "I do-ed"

Shite/stereotypical music in discos that only encourages rubbish dad dancing and the odd muppet who thinks he's being ironic or cool (not sure which is worse!)

Otherwise I'm not that bothered by most things... ?

Ooh yes Bridebrat - being mixed up with people you don't know when there are plenty of others at the wedding that you do know. Even worse being split up from your other half too and sitting on different tables. Also, being invited on the hen do but only being an evening guest at the wedding. Being sent a gift list as an evening-only guest too.

Guests having a 'who knows the bride best' competition.

People having songs like 'I don't want to miss a thing' and 'Amazed' as their first dances.

Men having top hats and canes.

A big room with not enough guests to fill it.

People that let a bride buy a dress that doesn't suit them - tell them it's not their style FFS!

Kids.

Crap music in the evening

A savoury buffet in the evening - I want sweet things too!

Drunk people making stupid comments/announcements and thanking people/offering congratulations using the DJ's microphone - you're drowning out a good song FFS!

Balloons and fireworks - especially when someone decides to burst a balloon next to someone.

My number one pet hate is when people try to force their beliefs and way of living onto you. So what if you're a vegetarian? 99% of the people in this room aren't. The same goes for drinking and smoking as well.

This winds me up in real life as well, but my number one 'real life' pet hate is when people don't use capital letters and punctuation and use text speak. All the time.

I appreciate I have come to this late but I wanted to get involved;

*wedding shoes

*Kids

*Not enough wine

*Not enough food

*choreographed first dances

OOOh there will be more.....!

Thought I'd have a go....I seem to be guilty of quite a few hates myself hey ho...

Ok so

Sweet tables/buffets - i just don't get it

Long drawn out speeches say what you want to say and get on with it

white suits on men just looks wrong

heavily made up brides

dresses too small to big etc

REALLY big hats

Boring guests (I'm guilty of this myself...my family are soooooo boring)

ugly chairs

sugared almonds

fruit cake

magicians etc

Cheesy DJ's

Erm I'm sure there's more .... I'll be back!!!!

The slosh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, why do all these middle aged woman insist on getting up and line dancing at weddings, my band has been warned if anyone asks 4 it, the bride said NO NO NO!!! Is the skosh just a scottish thing im not sure??

agree!!! how refreshing you think the same!