Where to start need advise planning wedding

Hello



We are getting married next year we are both in our mid 40s. It's the 2nd time for me and first time for my partner.I have 3 children my partner dosent.
The issue is I have a small family my close immediate family are of is 8 my partners is 20. That's immediate mum dad brothers sisters etc.Then rest of mine is with the closest is 20. Including aunties and uncles and cousins. Small family.My partners closest and rest of his family uncles aunties cousins etc is 60.

We are currently having alot of family opinions constanly actually... what we should do. Registry office, church , this place and that place and we did this we did that...no sit down meal, meal . hire a hall decorate yourself. Keep it cheap and intermate. Not to travel to far Etc etc etc ....and breath!!
Yes we have very tight budget. As paying for it ourselves at our age.. I have 7 bridesmaids. My partners 5 nieces which he really wants and my niece and daughter.
Its giving me or us a headache . As I have very small family and my partner has a large one we dont quite know what to do.
Options are Ceremony either church or registry office with the immediate close family keeping it small then onto a meal at a resturant with no DJ or first dance . Can still do cutting of the cake and speeches...OrCeremony at either church or registry office then hire a hall with DJ buffet etc with everyone coming to both which is 80....
Any advise or options or recommendations..We have both lost what we want to do as it's trying to keep.people happy etc