Which surname?? Please advise x

Hi
My fiancé has been a widower since 2013. We met in 2018.
The problem I have is which surnane to use once we are married. I got divorced in 2016 and since I kept using the title Mrs along with my ex husband's suname as it's the same as my 2 children.
My Fiancés late wife and I share the same first name and (unbelievably) also our middle names!
I would love to take my Fiancés surname but I dont want my name to be a constant reminder to him, like when post arrives etc. I would also feel like I'm taking someone elses name which will never be mine. I also believe it's a bit disrepectful to his children.
Friends have suggested I go back to my maiden name but that would mean changing it by deed pole and I haven't used that name for over half my life so it doesn't feel like who I am anymore. I totally understand my Fiancé not wanting me to keep my ex's name when I'm married to him but I don't know what my other optiond are. I want to share a surname with him as I want the world to know he's my husband. His family are very proud of their family name so it wouldn't be an option for him to change toioWhat do I do??