Funny things you have said during sexy time

Diddnt happen to me but my best friend was performing a sex act on someone (tabloid speak) and he started to stroke her head and say "you're a good girl" Like she was some sort of pet.

Provided all manner of amusement for the rest of our time at uni.

? H would laugh his head off if I said 'Whos your mummy' during sex! It would just remind me of my MIL and surely that's not something that you should be thinking about at a time like this.

It reminds me of the first series of Geordie Shore where Sophie whispers 'Chlamydia' whilst on the job.

I had a thing once with an older guy who would suddenly develop a really thick Welsh accent as things got more and more 'passionate'. He was from Nottingham. As time went on it stopped being funny and i found myself doing the same thing and it was all very odd.

We don't talk, my northern dulcet tones would be a definite turn off, think off the boddingtons advert... Byeck love!

Thats very strange.

Before we started sexy time once, we switched off the TV and I said let's get down and dirty.

Dunno why I said it but the OH looked at me very weirdly!

It was very strange, Mini. I do pick up accents easily but it freaked me out when I realised I was doing it.

This still makes me laugh now. We were doing it one night and the H suddenly yells out loud (what so early!? ?) that he has cramp. All sorts of gobbledeegook coming out of his mouth. I was cracking up.

Another time, again going at it and I am chattering away. He, with a determined look on his face says to me, 'can you shut up, I'm trying to have sex here!' So funny. He really meant it too, we laugh now but he was quite angry!

Oh that was fantastic. I might try that next.

After I told the girls at work about the 'who's your mummy' thing they said they were going to give me dares til I finally say something so outrageous it actually puts OH off. They are still plotting.

didnt she do this in the mexico series as well!?

I'm not sure. She was with Joel in that series though wasn't she.

I actually called hubby (before we were married) Mr 1st Ashlil during but I dont think he noticed as he has not mentioned it ever

its awful as they are completely different and I hate 1st Mr Ashlil

I once told an ex to "ride me like a donkey" - Glad he didn't take it literally and jump on my back.

An ex once said to me on our first time "I hope I get you pregnant, so that I can keep you" - That was very weird, should have left it at that there and then and not wasted another 2.5 years on him.

Donkey! Haha!

? That's just super odd

I once told my ex to fantasize about someone else whilst we were doing it. I was obviously very insecure about my ability to turn him on haha.

Don't tell Mr B I told you, but during a drunken night, he called 'himself' Mr Willington.

A few months later, Mr Willington must have had a promotion - this time he was called The Duke of Willington?!

Someone once asked me "how was it?" after sex...to which I replied "It was ok, but I've had better". What was he seriously expecting me to say?

I don't think i've really said anything weird, im not a talker.

After sex once a guy asked my friend 'how's your fanny' I say it to her all the time now!

A guy once said to me after sex, "My C0cks pretty good isnt it? Not to big, not to small. Its perfect."

I mean what do you say to that? I had to agree!

My best friend and I now refer to him as Goldicock.

haha anyone seen this happen in the big bang theory!@!!??!

An encounter at Uni once said 'Say my name B!tch!!' a la Alyson Hannigan offa American Pie. I rolled off almost wetting myself!!!!!!!! His reaction was not good...

I guy I used to hook up with in uni once every few months used to say, every single time

"I know I'm not the biggest you've ever had [erm - how does he know?!] but it's ok isn't it?"

He was a really good looking, confident guy who definitely didn't do too badly with the ladies, but must have had a big complex about size!

It's the size of the liner it's the motion of the ocean!

Ps. How's your report coming along?? Can't wait to read it!!!!

Report is pretty much written but I've been waiting for the pro pics to arrive. Had an email this morning to say that she's sending them today (from Australia) so should be with me within a week or so!

Not too long ago me and H were getting a bit frisky and I said to him "I bet you want to smash my back doors in???!!" In my best Keith Lemmon voice, to which he replied quite meekly "I didn't think you liked it up the bum!. I was mortified as for some reason didn't realise that what was it meant! Shame.

oh por sweet fluffykins ?

Some of these are great. I once announced I was going to sleep...and then did. In my (and H's) defense I had had a huge amount to drink ?

'Oooh, a boat'.

Love this!!