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pandorasbox
Beginner August 2012

Funny things you have said during sexy time

pandorasbox, 1 November, 2012 at 16:43 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 32

Apropos of Becki's sexy time thread, I remembered something I found hilarious last time me and H got down to it.

I tried out 'who's your mummy?' as you know being a PC feminist and all, I didn't get why it should be OK for guys to say 'who's your daddy?' I might mention that H has never actually said this to me, but I had just watched an ep of HIMYM and Barney says it a lot to women. So thought I would give it a go.

H looked really freaked out and I nearly fell off the bed laughing at him, but give him his due he manfully carried on.

What weird or funny things have you or your partners said while getting down to business?

32 replies

Latest activity by *Funky*, 2 November, 2012 at 19:05
  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Diddnt happen to me but my best friend was performing a sex act on someone (tabloid speak) and he started to stroke her head and say "you're a good girl" Like she was some sort of pet.

    Provided all manner of amusement for the rest of our time at uni.

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  • Pinky6
    Beginner June 2012
    Pinky6 ·
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    ? H would laugh his head off if I said 'Whos your mummy' during sex! It would just remind me of my MIL and surely that's not something that you should be thinking about at a time like this.

    It reminds me of the first series of Geordie Shore where Sophie whispers 'Chlamydia' whilst on the job.

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  • Hollies
    Beginner December 2018
    Hollies ·
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    I had a thing once with an older guy who would suddenly develop a really thick Welsh accent as things got more and more 'passionate'. He was from Nottingham. As time went on it stopped being funny and i found myself doing the same thing and it was all very odd.

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  • (Claire)
    Beginner July 2011
    (Claire) ·
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    We don't talk, my northern dulcet tones would be a definite turn off, think off the boddingtons advert... Byeck love!

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Thats very strange.

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  • Becklarrr
    Beginner
    Becklarrr ·
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    Before we started sexy time once, we switched off the TV and I said let's get down and dirty.

    Dunno why I said it but the OH looked at me very weirdly!

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  • Hollies
    Beginner December 2018
    Hollies ·
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    It was very strange, Mini. I do pick up accents easily but it freaked me out when I realised I was doing it.

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  • Herringston
    Beginner
    Herringston ·
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    This still makes me laugh now. We were doing it one night and the H suddenly yells out loud (what so early!? ?) that he has cramp. All sorts of gobbledeegook coming out of his mouth. I was cracking up.

    Another time, again going at it and I am chattering away. He, with a determined look on his face says to me, 'can you shut up, I'm trying to have sex here!' So funny. He really meant it too, we laugh now but he was quite angry!

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  • pandorasbox
    Beginner August 2012
    pandorasbox ·
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    Oh that was fantastic. I might try that next.

    After I told the girls at work about the 'who's your mummy' thing they said they were going to give me dares til I finally say something so outrageous it actually puts OH off. They are still plotting.

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  • Flowmojo
    Beginner
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    didnt she do this in the mexico series as well!?

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  • Pinky6
    Beginner June 2012
    Pinky6 ·
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    I'm not sure. She was with Joel in that series though wasn't she.

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  • ashlil
    Beginner February 2011
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    I actually called hubby (before we were married) Mr 1st Ashlil during but I dont think he noticed as he has not mentioned it ever

    its awful as they are completely different and I hate 1st Mr Ashlil

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  • BumbleBrat
    BumbleBrat ·
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    I once told an ex to "ride me like a donkey" - Glad he didn't take it literally and jump on my back.

    An ex once said to me on our first time "I hope I get you pregnant, so that I can keep you" - That was very weird, should have left it at that there and then and not wasted another 2.5 years on him.

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  • Kjay
    Beginner August 2013
    Kjay ·
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    Donkey! Haha!

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  • Pinky6
    Beginner June 2012
    Pinky6 ·
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    ? That's just super odd

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  • Ali_G
    Beginner October 2012
    Ali_G ·
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    I once told my ex to fantasize about someone else whilst we were doing it. I was obviously very insecure about my ability to turn him on haha.

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  • Mrs Whippy
    Beginner September 2012
    Mrs Whippy ·
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    Don't tell Mr B I told you, but during a drunken night, he called 'himself' Mr Willington.

    A few months later, Mr Willington must have had a promotion - this time he was called The Duke of Willington?!

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  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
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    Someone once asked me "how was it?" after sex...to which I replied "It was ok, but I've had better". What was he seriously expecting me to say?

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  • FaeBelle13
    Beginner April 2013
    FaeBelle13 ·
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    I don't think i've really said anything weird, im not a talker.

    After sex once a guy asked my friend 'how's your fanny' I say it to her all the time now!

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    A guy once said to me after sex, "My C0cks pretty good isnt it? Not to big, not to small. Its perfect."

    I mean what do you say to that? I had to agree!

    My best friend and I now refer to him as Goldicock.

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  • Flowmojo
    Beginner
    Flowmojo ·
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    haha anyone seen this happen in the big bang theory!@!!??!

    An encounter at Uni once said 'Say my name B!tch!!' a la Alyson Hannigan offa American Pie. I rolled off almost wetting myself!!!!!!!! His reaction was not good...

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  • Knees
    VIP August 2012
    Knees ·
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    I guy I used to hook up with in uni once every few months used to say, every single time

    "I know I'm not the biggest you've ever had [erm - how does he know?!] but it's ok isn't it?"

    He was a really good looking, confident guy who definitely didn't do too badly with the ladies, but must have had a big complex about size!

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  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
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    It's the size of the liner it's the motion of the ocean!

    Ps. How's your report coming along?? Can't wait to read it!!!!

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  • Knees
    VIP August 2012
    Knees ·
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    Report is pretty much written but I've been waiting for the pro pics to arrive. Had an email this morning to say that she's sending them today (from Australia) so should be with me within a week or so!

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  • fluffymalone
    Beginner May 2011
    fluffymalone ·
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    Not too long ago me and H were getting a bit frisky and I said to him "I bet you want to smash my back doors in???!!" In my best Keith Lemmon voice, to which he replied quite meekly "I didn't think you liked it up the bum!. I was mortified as for some reason didn't realise that what was it meant! Shame. Smiley laugh

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  • Flowmojo
    Beginner
    Flowmojo ·
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    oh por sweet fluffykins ?

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  • *Eclair*
    Beginner August 2012
    *Eclair* ·
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    Some of these are great. I once announced I was going to sleep...and then did. In my (and H's) defense I had had a huge amount to drink ?

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    'Oooh, a boat'.

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  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
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    Love this!!

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