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Savvy

How far is too far (to travel)

*ACS*, 24 September, 2012 at 11:43 Posted on Planning 0 26

I know, its one of those "how long is a piece of string" or more accurately, how much does your family love you (I'm joking!!)... but...

We havent found a venue in the area we live (Kent!) that we love, so we are thinking of looking further affield. OH said he would be happy to make a weekend of it, maybe go somewhere on the Friday, get married on the Saturday and stay until Sunday evening.

Just not sure how many of my side of the family would actually travel far. I know OH's would, that's just how they are, but I really dont think my aunts/uncles/cousins would, be in the other breathe, I'm only really truely worried that my dad/mum/sisters/brothers go really, and if everyone else does go, then thats a bonus.

Do you think that would be odd? And a bit selfish?

How far would you be willing to travel for a wedding? Would you make a weekend of it?

Also, what are the "rules" for getting married in a Roman Catholic church that is way outside of your parish?

Thanks, and sorry for being slightly obscure and self indulgant!

x

26 replies

Latest activity by *ACS*, 26 September, 2012 at 09:17
  • VeeDubLuv
    Beginner November 2012
    VeeDubLuv ·
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    I have travelled 500 miles to a wedding and everyone was in the same boat!

    I think as long as you give people enough warning they can save and get use to the idea.

    I love weekend weddings, they are great fun.

    We were going to go away but decided on a London wedding xxx

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  • *
    Savvy
    *ACS* ·
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    Thank you, that has made me feel a bit better. There are major things to consider though, so we probably wont end up doing (long story!), but I would rather have the choice and be able to look slightly further affield I think...

    Thank you

    x

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  • VeeDubLuv
    Beginner November 2012
    VeeDubLuv ·
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    Just remember though it is your day!

    Some guest forget that!

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    We live in Leeds. My family live in Kent, Wakefield and Newcastle. H's live in Nottingham.

    We got married in Grantham which meant an hour's travel for H's family and between 2 and 4 hours for mine.

    Most of my family came on the Friday - no body minded at all and it was lovely to have the whole weekend.

    The only thing I would say is that our venue didn't have rooms so we all stayed at a nearby hotel that was only £65 a night. I think this really helped people.

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  • cinnamonfairy
    Rockstar June 2020
    cinnamonfairy ·
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    My brother and SIL got married last December. We are all from Kent, SILs family are all from Birmingham.

    They decided on a venue which was about an hour and a half from each family. We stayed the Friday night and all went out for a meal, and then stayed the Saturday night after the wedding. Was a really lovely weekend.

    As long as where you are thinking of looking has accommodation (or nearby), I think people will be more than willing to make the trip!

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  • P
    Beginner May 2013
    popski29 ·
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    Our wedding is local to us, but both our families are spread about so it was always going to mean travelling for some people.

    We've got accomodation available at our venue, or I've sent people a list of other options for various budgets - b&b's, cheaper hotels etc.

    I don't think people mind when it's a one off day and they've got plenty of notice!

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  • F
    Beginner March 2013
    Figaro82 ·
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    Ours is the same as Popskis. We are getting married near to where we live, but or family/friends have to travel for 2 hours.

    We have given everyone plenty of notice and I really believe that if they want to come they will make the effort. We have also given them the option of different accomodation budgets.

    Its not selfish, its your wedding and you need to plan it around where you want to spend you special day. Good luck! x

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  • amihohu
    Beginner September 2013
    amihohu ·
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    We had a 7 hour drive and a 2 night stay at a wedding last year and didn't mind Smiley smile To be honest, it never really occured to me that it would be a problem for our wedding. We are getting married 120 miles away from where we live now (back to my hometown in Sussex) but we have friends & family coming from Scotland, Ireland, Devon, France, Germany and even New Zealand haha. If people really want to be there, they won't mind travelling Smiley smile

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    Savvy
    *ACS* ·
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    Oh thank you everyone, honestly, you have put my mind at rest. If we do find a venue that is not local (which is looking likely), then I wont feel as bad. I know that my mum/dad at least will attend, and my brothers and sisters will, and OH's family will, its just OH's children and possibly some others, but I am sure it will work out.

    Thank you for your replies Smiley smile

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  • R
    Expert June 2024
    rachel2012 ·
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    We are getting married an hour n half away from us and no one lives there so everyone is travelling, some people have opted to come and stay the night before with us, some are travelling up and staying the night of the wedding and some are going home that night. We have rooms in the house we are having the wedding breakfast in but have also given people names of B and B's etc close by which some people have opted for.

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  • SuperDuff
    Beginner November 2013
    SuperDuff ·
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    We were preparing to go to Ireland (we live in Devon) for a wedding in December. Unfortunately we've now declined as Ireland's a complete faff to get to on my remaining holiday entitlement (cancelled flights by Aer Lingus put pay to us going really). So we'd have gone that far.

    But, I wouldn't be prepared to travel for more than an hour to a reception only. My manager invited us to her evening do, and I kind of wish I'd not gone in the end - it took 1.5hrs to get to (motorway then country lanes) in the middle of a cold March.

    I think it depends on whether the people are coming for the who thing or just the evening bit.

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  • BuzzyBride
    Beginner March 2013
    BuzzyBride ·
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    Like you we didn't find anywhere we loved in Kent, where we will be and my parents are. We found a place in York, special to us as it's where we met and both went to Uni, so it's about 250 miles for my family, but we also have OH family coming from Cheshire, and friends coming from Newcastle. It seemed fairer to have it in a place where most people have to travel!

    All of our family and most of our friends are making it a weekend. If you give people enough notice and you are close to them, they will come because they want to share the day with you. All the important people will make it, so just make sure you find somewhere you love!

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    Savvy
    *ACS* ·
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    Thanks everyone. I think you are right, if given enough notice, and we give them enough details etc. so they can book rooms in advance, then I think the people we want there, will be there. It might even help "weed out" the people that we "have" to invite, but dont necessarily want there... if that makes sense (I am aware I sound mean... lol)

    Thanks again Smiley smile

    xxx

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  • littlecathy
    Beginner August 2013
    littlecathy ·
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    We've made ours into a wedding weekend, getting married in Liverpool on the Friday and arranging activities for people on the Saturday and most people will be staying for 2 nights at least. This would have happened anyway since I'm from Liverpool, and he's from Coventry, but we live in Abu Dhabi so have friends coming from all over the UK AND Abu Dhabi (making a 7 and half hour 3500 mile trip!). If people want to be there, they'll make an effort.

    All my friends are looking forward to staying in Liverpool for the weekend and have used it as an excuse to spoil themselves! We've made it clear that we don't expect people to travel all that way, but they've all said they want to!

    I've travelled to Cyprus for a wedding and made it into my summer holiday...

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  • Polkadots_and_Pincurls
    Beginner June 2015
    Polkadots_and_Pincurls ·
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    May I make a venue suggestion? The Tudor Barn in Eltham, south-east london is just gorgeous in my opinion, and if I was able to get married in London that's my dream venue. Sadly all OHs (huge) family live in Leicester and only my parents and sis live in London, so OH said it would be mean to make them all travel so far Smiley sad

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  • Luna_12
    Beginner October 2012
    Luna_12 ·
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    My h2b's family are travelling up from Ipswich including his elderly grandmother (dont let the elderly statement fool you shes a tough ole boot in the nicest sense lol). She and some of the other family are travelling near enough 300 miles to be with us on our wedding day. If people want to be there they will be xxx

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  • E
    Beginner April 2013
    Excited_Bride_To_Be ·
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    With regard to so called rules for getting married in a church outside ur parish, here in Ireland we just have to get a letter of approval from your own parish priest, which i believe is only a formality

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  • Luna_12
    Beginner October 2012
    Luna_12 ·
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    View quoted message

    As far as I know thats all it is in England too I had to have permission to marry outside of my parish. I now live in the parish Im marrying in lol sods law x

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  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
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    I lived in Japan for my brother's wedding in December 2008, and I flew to Toronto via Detroit, got stuck in Detroit because a snow storm closed down the airport, but I managed to get a seat on the last mini bus crossing the border to Canada, which took me to a town a 2 hour drive from Toronto, where I had to wait for a van to take me to the Toronto airport, which was also closed, but luckily there was a cab there to take me downtown to the hotel where everyone was staying. I was supposed to arrive at 2 pm the day before the wedding, but only made it there at 5am on the day of the wedding. Aaaand then I flew back to Japan 48 hours later.

    It was something I put myself through because I love my family, and there was no way I was going to miss my brother's wedding.

    I also scheduled my summer holiday while in Japan to be able to attend a cousin's wedding. And I flew to New York from London for another cousin's wedding. And I flew from Toronto to New York for both my other brother's and my sister's weddings.

    There's barely a wedding I HAVEN'T travelled for. And I'm banking on my family all travelling from overseas for mine.

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  • N
    Beginner April 2013
    Ness999 ·
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    I think I may have already taken your question to the extreme! Im Australian and my OH is English. Our lives are here so it was a clear choice. Family and friends were given lots of notice and I'm pleased to say about 15 will be making the trip to be with us ? As other people have done I found hotels for all budgets close to our venue. Find a venue you love and with enough notice I'm sure people will make the journey ?

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    I have travelled quite far to weddings, but only because I didn't live near the bride and groom. I would also be willing to travel, if circumstances allowed, abroad for a destination wedding.

    However, and maybe this is just me, I would find it odd to have to travel 100 miles or so because of a specific venue, as we picked our venue location with guests in mind. For me, it was a big factor that I didn't want our guests to have to fork out for transport, hotels, etc. if I were close to the person I would still go, but would find it a bit inconvenient.

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  • hargate
    hargate ·
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    We have found that people will travel from all over the country (or overseas) for weddings particularly if you are having a weekend long wedding. realistically wherever you get married some guests will have much further to travel than others. Pick somewhere you want to get married that is most important thing.

    The Catholic church seems to much happier to marry people out of their home parish, than the Church of England. Discussions will need to be had with both priests, but we have never know it to be refused.

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  • *
    Savvy
    *ACS* ·
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    Hi All

    Thank you so much for your opinions, really has made me feel less odd for not finding somewhere "local". I do like the castles around here, but all of them tend to be quite dark and gothic (probably because they are castles lol), but we really want something quite light and airy...

    Lots to think about

    x

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