"One parent is better than two"

I think that's just making a HUGE sweeping generalisation ? (them, not you that is!). As you say, of course a happy, harmonious life with a single parent is preferable to living with an arguing, only-together-because-of-you couple, but I don't see how anyone can claim that EITHER model is the 'ideal', as surely it depends so much on those sorts of circumstances? My parents have been married for 40 years next year, I loved my childhood and have a great relationship with them now as well. I've been married myself for nearly 7 years and much as we have ours ups and downs our children clearly adore having us both around all the time. Yes I'm sure they'd cope, adapt, deal with it if we were to split but I can't see how it would be BETTER for them if we did??

I think it's an incredibly unhelpful generalisation. Comparing the worst of two parent families with the best of one parent families is never going to come out with anything helpful!

Personal experience - my children were happier when I was with their dad, even though we argued a lot. My eldest (5yrs) in particular is really struggling, even a year later, to come to terms with it all and I'm considering some kind of child therapy for him because I can just tell he's really not happy and I don't know how to help.

I am happier without my ex around, so that rubs off on my children, but that's about it. I can't be a mum and a dad. I can do the gentle caring side, but the harsh, discipline side that seems to come more easily to fathers is quite beyond me (something I am having help for in my own therapy sessions!). My boyfriend is helping us get more a balance, and I think it's a good thing that my children have a male and female around constantly (ex has a new girlfriend too).

It's not the endless sleepless nights/nappies stage I found the hardest - it's now, when everyone is expecting him behave better than he does "because he's five", conveniently forgetting that in his short 5 years he's had to deal with mummy being very poorly with depression, the breakdown of the marriage, daddy getting another woman pregnant just 6 weeks after mummy and daddy stopped loving eachother, mummy going back to work, mummy moving out, mummy getting a boyfriend, mummy breaking up with boyfriend, mummy getting another boyfriend who has a daughter, starting school, mummy moving house again.... It's no wonder the poor child is struggling with his emotions which come out as aggression and defiance, but I blame myself because I was the one who instigated the end of the marriage - that's the hardest bit, the rest of it I just get on with, because you have no other choice when you're on your own.

Neither style is "good" or "bad" IMO, you have to take each case individually.

Its impossible to make such a sweeping statememnt.

I've seen some brilliant one parent families (both single mums and single dads)......but i've equally seen some atrocious ones. I've also seen couples that have got the parenting lark sewn up between them....and others where they've both lost the plot!

Sure, in some instances one parent would be better than two, but not all, just as 2 parents are not always better than one. You can't have a catch all policy - I hate it when journalists do this - it seems very lazy to me to only ever present one side of an argument, and only ever seems to serve as a way to rile people to get the number of comments up.

Well, I'm happy to make a sweeping statement ? While I absolutely agree that a happy one-parent family is better than an unhappy two-parent family, all other things being equal two parents are better than one. Easer for the parents to look after their chidlren as they would wish, as each gets to share the load. Better for the children to have role models of both sexes and to see that people vary, that it's possible to hold different opinions and yet still live harmoniously, and to see a happy and loving relationship between adults as the norm.

Of course noone can guarantee all these things and all of us just do the best we can, and of course there are lots of situations in which children are happier and better off with one parent than two. But there are all sorts of benefits to having two parents, both practical and emotional, and I find the idea that society might move away from seeing two parents as desirable rather sad. If anything, we ought to be encouraging a more expansive view of parenting, involving other family members, friends etc, with variety and mutual support, rather than an even more narrow and isolated units.

I'll agree with that. It takes a village and all that.

Having been a single parent, it's easy to become defensive and blustery about it. After all, you spend so much time defending your "choice" even when it's no choice at all. And every time you read about how sons of lone parents are more prone to failing at school, getting in trouble with the police or whatever it's hard not to take it personally. Having done both I'd categorically state that being part of a good two parent relationship is a gazillion times easier.

I completely agree and I've been a single parent for 6 months. In my case, being a single parent is the right thing for me and the right choice for my daughter as subjecting her to an unloving, broken relationship would've been far more damaging than the situation she's in now. I have fantastic support from my parents and my sister and whilst it is far from the ideal, my dad is a strong male role model in her life and it has a positive effect. Aoife's dad is in her life but not as much as I hoped he would be and certainly wants no responsibility for making any decisions which I feel is a disappointing, especially for Aoife.

I would hope that in the future I will meet someone that I can settle down with and I'd like Aoife to have a two parent family but at the minute, I'm doing what's best for us as a family and I'm not worried about falling into a stereotype. As Mousie said, they're taking the worst case two parent family and the best single parent family so not really comparing like for like.

I don't think human beings have evolved to be raised by just two adults, let alone one adult - I'm with Knownowt on taking a village and all that.

I would hate to have to raise my son alone - I can't be his father, and I find sharing parenting never-ending, let alone being the only resident parent.

But sometimes it's unavoidable, relations break up, or people want children and don't find a suitable partner and so on. I can't see why all things being equal you'd choose to have sole responsiblity, however, it's a lot of weight for one person's shoulders.

Sorry, late back to this - darn pesky work ?

I am absolutely with those who say 'it takes a village'... Extended family and friends are really important imo.

Having said that, my H was conceived, born and brought up in a 'deliberate' one parent family. However, he has more extended 'family' than anyone else I know - all of his Mum's friends - progressive 70s/80s types - piled in and poured love and attention onto him. He has a 'Dad' (not biologically) in his Mum's best friend and endless 'aunts' and 'uncles' who he is very close to.

So the two are not mutually exclusive!

I think she was incredibly brave to choose to go through it alone, even though she had good friends around her.

Obviously, I'm glad she did as otherwise H wouldn't exist!

Well personally speaking I would rather my children lived in a two-parent household. I also know that my children would prefer this too.

In saying that, we're not doing too badly, however time will tell.

I still think one good parent is better than two bad ones. But its such a complex issue...

I do feel bad that my children wont have the familial references that I had....they've been robbed.