Skip to main content
B

Church Wedding vs Civil Ceremony

14 May 2013 at 22:11 Posted on Planning 0 77
Saved
Reply

Just wondering what everyone has gone for!! For me I have never once been religious, in fact I'm an atheist. My fiancé wanted a traditional church wedding but I felt it would be really disrespectful to get married in a House of God if neither of us really believe he exists! Shame, though. There are some really beautiful churches about Smiley smile

So instead we have gone for a civil ceremony in a modern converted stables/barn, which I fell in love with the moment we set foot in there. Ceremony and reception in the same venue.

So, what have you chosen and why?

P.S. I don't want to start a war or anything. Please keep things pleasant, ladies Smiley smile

77 replies

Latest activity by Jemima Renrut, 27 May 2013 at 15:44
  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
    • Report

    Why would it start a war?

    civil ceremony- due to the fact we are atheists. Pretty much a no brainer.

    • Reply
  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
    • Report
    View quoted message

    This. I can't conceive of making promises to a god I don't believe exists. It's the spiritual equivalent of a massive 'fingers crossed' Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Taylory
    Beginner July 2014
    Taylory ·
    • Report

    We have chosen church . I have faith but i wouldn't say overly religious. I enjoy going to church now though, and i must admit i do pray alot lol. My little girl is very interested in the church and god and believes Smiley smile

    My sister is very religious and runs a sunday school Smiley smile It just felt right for me x

    • Reply
  • *gnashers*
    Beginner October 2013
    *gnashers* ·
    • Report

    Church, because I believe in God. The church also means a lot to me as my parents married there.

    • Reply
  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
    • Report

    Civil Partnership- because i'm gay! and its not like there is an alternative at present, that said even when the gay marriage bill does go through I would not get married in a church because I'm not religious.

    • Reply
  • *gnashers*
    Beginner October 2013
    *gnashers* ·
    • Report
    View quoted message

    You're gay?! I had no idea ?

    • Reply
  • *gnashers*
    Beginner October 2013
    *gnashers* ·
    • Report

    Talk of many things on here gets people's backs up. Wearing black, chair covers, balloons. You name it, there's probably been a debate about it. Followed by a dramatic flounce normally.

    • Reply
  • Icklefee
    Beginner May 2014
    Icklefee ·
    • Report

    We're having a civil ceremony. I'm a believer but I would feel too much of a hypocrite walking down a church aisle with 3 children in tow and a groom who is atheist waiting at the end of it for me.

    • Reply
  • Y
    Beginner April 2014
    YellowDuckie ·
    • Report

    Church for us. I'm religious, OH is more lapsed but it was important to me to have a religious ceremony.

    • Reply
  • Trish2014
    Beginner June 2014
    Trish2014 ·
    • Report

    Civil ceremony for us - we didn't even need to think about it. Neither of us go to church and we both loved the idea of being able to do the whole day in the same venue.

    • Reply
  • *Funky*
    Beginner January 2001
    *Funky* ·
    • Report
    View quoted message

    • Reply
  • Helenia
    Beginner September 2011
    Helenia ·
    • Report

    Civil followed by a church blessing. I really wanted to get married in church, but H is an atheist and wasn't happy making promises to someone he doesn't believe in, so this was our compromise.

    • Reply
  • Forever Wedding Dance
    Rockstar September 2013
    Forever Wedding Dance ·
    • Report

    We are having a service in a non-denominational chapel which is licensed for either and we can design our service as we like, which is really rare. Our families are a mixture of religious and non-religious but we don't go to church and so felt wrong marrying in one. We were just going to have a civil ceremony but then we found this place where we can have mainly civil wording in the vows but they can also incorporate prayers for those who are of faith.

    • Reply
  • BlossomJ
    Beginner July 2014
    BlossomJ ·
    • Report

    Pretty much the same situation as you, except OH wanted to get married in his local church as that's where his parents, grandparents and brother have all got married (my OH isn't religious himself) - but I really couldn't bring myself to do it when I don't believe in God - I'd feel so uncomfortable! We've gone for a civil ceremony too and OH loves our venue luckily ?

    • Reply
  • *gnashers*
    Beginner October 2013
    *gnashers* ·
    • Report

    *snort*

    • Reply
  • Mrs Monkey
    Beginner July 2013
    Mrs Monkey ·
    • Report

    We're having a civil ceremony in a train station Smiley smile

    Neither of us are religious so I would never have married in a church.

    • Reply
  • Snyffa
    Beginner October 2013
    Snyffa ·
    • Report

    We are having a Handfasting, I guess this is classed as a religious ceremony but doesnt come with a god or a church. It comes with elementals and a lawn! lol

    x

    • Reply
  • Lommel
    Beginner August 2014
    Lommel ·
    • Report

    Civil ceremony for us, though I am considering doing the legal bit first and having a Humanistic ceremony. I've been looking at Buddhist ceremony wording. I'm not sure if I'd get away with it in a civil ceremony or not - Buddhists don't have a set ceremony but the wording matches what we want and it isn't exactly religious, just talking about living in the "now" rather than the past or future.

    • Reply
  • Skeptical78
    Beginner September 2013
    Skeptical78 ·
    • Report
    View quoted message

    I LOVE the sound of handfasting ceremonies. Think I've always been a bit of a dippy Druid at heart- love nature and all that junk (spent 20 mins last night looking out the window at a tree trying to imagine what it would feel like to 'be' a tree...). But OH won't have one bit of it, sadly. He's very pragmatic and scientific about these things.

    Think we plumped for a civil ceremony cos it's the quickest option. In and out. Then the celebration can start!

    • Reply
  • Elixia
    Beginner March 2014
    Elixia ·
    • Report

    I would do a handfasting but my partner wont go for it before i even bring it up. He'd see it as being weird for the sake of being weird (he's 27 going on 70). Were doing a civil ceremony purely on cost. I'm not religious and neither is my so-called catholic partner (he's says he is, but he's not. too naughty) were more agnostic. If I could of, I would of loved to of got the church my Nan's and family have all been married in but its too far away from the venue plus I'd feel the hypocritic for doing the church wedding when i don't go to church normally!

    • Reply
  • Skeptical78
    Beginner September 2013
    Skeptical78 ·
    • Report
    View quoted message

    Ha ha- are we marrying the same bloke?! ?

    • Reply
  • Laura DeBourde
    Laura DeBourde ·
    • Report

    Wow, in a train station? I'm really intrigued. Sounds very interesting!

    I think churches are beautiful, and the service is usually a lot longer, whereas it seems to be over very quick with a registry office. However, I'm not religious in any way at all, so I think I would be in the same situation as a lot of people in here and go for something else due to that fact (but perhaps something a bit out of the norm). A bride of mine who got married back in April got married in a church in her hometown, although she knew the vicar from when she was a child (he's actually retired now) but he came back to do her service, as it was where she went when she was younger with her parents on a Sunday. I don't think she's religious though, but obviously her hometown and the vicar who performed her service meant something special to her, which is always a nice idea.

    • Reply
  • AmnesiaCustard
    Beginner June 2011
    AmnesiaCustard ·
    • Report

    For us it was church because we are both Christian. I don't think we would have got married at all if we hadn't been allowed a church wedding, it was that important to us to have God's blessing on our relationship.

    • Reply
  • Cat In A Teacup
    Beginner August 2015
    Cat In A Teacup ·
    • Report

    Civil ceremony for us ? We are both atheist so it would have felt very disrespectful and rude to marry in a church. OH's mum didn't seem too happy about it though...

    Funky - I love that emoticon!

    • Reply
  • Little Pixie
    Beginner September 2011
    Little Pixie ·
    • Report

    Civil as we don't believe in god. I find it disrespctful when people get married in churches and they are not religious.

    • Reply
  • Holey
    Beginner July 2011
    Holey ·
    • Report

    Civil for us. Neither of us are remotely religious so it wasn't a hard decision. (In fact it wasn't even a conscious decision as we never even considered a church wedding)

    • Reply
  • I
    ibecamewe ·
    • Report

    We're having a non-denominational wedding with tom aleterre, he is a registered minister so it's not a civil ceremony but all perfectly legal as he is a listed registrar.
    It's in a Hotel & the set up will be similar to a civil ceremony. It's a big plus, allows for even more personalisation. You can have religious references if you like (some HSE registrars won't even allow the unity candle ceremony because it is so synonymous with church ceremonies), we're going to light candles in remembrance of our loved ones who have passed on as part of our ceremony. Best of all he will perform the ceremony any day of the week.

    • Reply
  • W
    Beginner February 2014
    Wifeytobe88 ·
    • Report

    Civil ceremony for us! I was open to the idea of having it in a Catholic Church - both me and hubby-to-be were baptised Catholic and did communion, but I decided against confirmation when I was 12 because I wasn't a massive believer (and tbh, couldn't be bothered). However neither of us are religious, not atheist but open-minded, and when we saw the room where our ceremony would be (all in the same venue - bonus) it was so beautiful it decided it for us. I'm really happy with our decision now too, because it means we can personalise the ceremony, have non-religious readings etc.

    • Reply
  • Feb2014Bride
    Beginner February 2014
    Feb2014Bride ·
    • Report

    Civil for us - there are some a-mazing churches in our area but neither of us believe.

    Plus with a winter wedding i wanted it in one venue, never know what the weather will be like.

    • Reply
  • H
    Beginner
    HannyNanny ·
    • Report

    Civil for me too as I feel it would be hypocritical to get married in a church as we are not religious. My partner would have done but only because he thinks churches are pretty in photos!

    • Reply
  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
    • Report
    View quoted message

    This is the same for us, really. I'm a complete atheist, and he's agnostic. There are some gorgeous gothic churches in this country, though, but luckily there are also gorgeous medieval castles - which is what we've gone for ?

    • Reply
  • PinkButterfly
    Beginner June 2014
    PinkButterfly ·
    • Report

    I definately believe its hypocritical for non believers and those who declare not to be religious to chose to be married in a church... I don't get why they would want to when Gosmis such a big part of the service.

    Both myself and OH are Christian and regular church goers... Initially we decided to have everything in the same venue but restrictions to civil services led us to the decision to do the legal side in a registry office before the big day and then have a blessing at the venue.

    however after much thought I hated the idea of being legally married before walking up the aisle and felt we had to compromise way too much on what we wanted so we've now opted to go to church! Dilemma now is the church we picked will be closed for building works... So we now have to find another :-(

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
ReCaptcha Verification failed. Please try again.

Related articles

General groups

Hitched article topics