If a man has had a vasectomey - what does he ejaculate?

Foreskin pleghm is too grim to think about.

Sparkley it was a thread about someone's husband/boyfriend who washed himself before doing the deed. I don't remember the detials but it was funny.

Or if your too lazy to do it yourself there is always http://yellowpages.heraldextra.com/Willy+Wash+Car+Wash.327668.107859319.home.html

That word is gross.

I remember my Mum teaching my brother how to wash his ?

The same brother who once farted and followed through when I was in the bath with him ?

This thread has gave me a chuckle,

the thread with the willy washing before the deed didn't she also wash so it was nice and fresh or am i thinking of something else

Oh god, I'm supposed to do this? What age am I supposed to sit him down and talk to him about nobcheese?

Pretty much when he's a toddler.

This thread has made me laugh!

<aside> Is anyone watching the teen embarassing illness thing last this week? 'me and me boyfriend am lergic to eachuver' , and the lad who, despite just having a wart removed from a very intimate place, wondered why it was sore when he had sex ... erm... because someone has just frozen your bits therefore give it a rest for a few weeks eh??

wasn't she the same one as the towel thread?

and said we were all mingers, basically

Waaah! Not a thread to be read at work (unless you mind odd looks while you snigger!).

BGB and Nick - your willy might be a key life tool (as it were) to you, but I imagine it's more of a hobby item to us ladies - so it's not fair to snigger at the ones who don't know all the mechanics of them!

Actually, it's best not to do this when they are toddlers - see below for advice from babycentre:

And when bathing your son, it isn't necessary to retract his foreskin. Actually, you won't be able to for several months or even years - it takes that long for the foreskin to separate from the penis. Even when the foreskin has separated and can be retracted safely, the best advice is simply to leave it alone. You may do more harm than good by interfering with its self-cleaning mechanism.

MrsPip - I'm assuming a 3 year old (i.e. toddler), not a baby. I think you may have greater difficulty discussing nobcheese with a newborn ?

I'm guessing it would be easier than discussing nobcheese with a teenager ?

why not? we re expected to know the minge like the back of our hand, so its only fair that you have to have knowledge of the wonderful wang ?

Not so. Just because I give better blowjobs than a Catholic priest doesn't mean I should know the chemical make-up of jizz, nor at what age the foreskin becomes retractable, nor indeed where you wee from.

Equally I wouldn't expect a man, however marvellous a shag he was, to know or want to know about my cervix, say. There are bits that matter and bits that don't. ?

? that reminds me of a story a mate told me some time ago. he d pulled this girl a nd they d gone back to her place. she was quite happily bobbing up and down on his purple helmeted love warrior, when she said "hmmmm, i d love to do something reeeeeeally naughty" so him being fair game said fantastic, go on. so she hopped off his knob and pissed all over his chest ??. too funny ?

Waaaahh! At least he wasn't shagging Sparks, she would have taken a dump on his pillow.

Yes, I know that Baron! But read it properly - it says it may take years to retaract and even when it does, you should still leave it alone!

? Fantastic

LOL Willy-Cheese! ?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Totally PMSL at work ? ?

?i love hitched because of threads like this ?

Good grief man. You go calling a 3 year old a toddler in their earshot and you'll be pelted with lego bricks quicker than you can say "Sportacus" ?

Hazel, you're right there (says the mother of a 3 year old ?). He would describe himself as a "big boy" which is .. erm.. apt for this thread ?

To add light to this discussion, as a mother of two boys, I have never pulled back their foreskins to wash their willies. My eldest son is 11 and came downstairs the other day almost hysterical, and deeply ashamed. He'd pulled back his foreskin for the first time and had made his willy bleed and he thought it was broken.

The conversation was entirely in euphemism, it was great. Each daring the other to ask the obvious question. ie.

J: <hysterical>

Me: what's wrong?

J: I'm bleeding

Me: where

J: down below

etc etc, until I was forced to say "have you been playing with your willy?"

for him to respond "<snotty gulp> YESSSSS ?"

Poor kid. It was very much in the vain of the 'you don't love me and you all think I'm gay' conversation and 'Mummy, does Daddy use condoms'. We still have the joys of the nobcheese conversation to come.

I have been recording Teenage Embarrassing Illnesses and was hoping to share that with him instead ?

Oh Clairy, your poor boy!! ?

Is he now ok?

Glad it's not just me doing this!

Oh, he's absolutely fine. He was just mortified. A hug and a promise never to mention it again helped ?

You forget how hard it is being an adolescent, actually.

So are you going to teach him how to wash his willy? ?

Good God no. TBH I struggle with getting him to wash his elbows at the moment ?

this is how you got into giving soapy tit wanks isnt it? as a discreet way to remove schlong stilton ?

Gross!!!!!!! ?

Foreskin feta?

better?

Cock caerphilly?

?