"Oh God, I think they've got me a fat stripper"

I didn't worry at all about my H on his stag do- I was more concerned about my Dad being there as he doesn't go out on 'boys nights' so much these days! Apparently they were all so drunk by midnight that they 'forgot' to go to a strip club and headed back to the hotel! I'm certain they are telling the truth too as they knew I wouldn't have minded if strippers were included on the night out. My hen do's were both very tame! No nakedness at all, which is great as I blush at the mention of sex!!

Hope she had a fab night out!

AJ- are you not even going to have dinner or a few drinks with friends to celebrate? I bet your OH will have a fab time and if she really isn't keen on strippers, then surely her friends won't put her through the embarrassment?!

Nope. Not a sausage. I don't feel I'm missing out on anything either.

But didnt you post on another section of this forum a few months ago enquiring about the cost of a stag do? Reading that post made me think you did want a stag do.

AJ - you really do come across as a bit holier-than-thou sometimes

What exactly offends you so much about girls going out with their friends, having a few drinks and a laugh?

All then hen do reports I've seen on here have just looked like good fun, not all of them were what I would like maybe but I've never seen anything offensive!

Partly so there was something that could be arranged that I would find acceptable if I was forced into having one, but thankfully nobody has pushed me about having one so I'm more than happy to let it pass and save the money.

If that's all it was, nothing. However, I do find all the other things like inflatable penises and excessive drinking offensive.

Maybe it's just because I'm a guy, and I'm not in my twenties.

I don't see the problem with a stripper, as long as he doesn't whack you around the head with his pecker.

WSS... god forbid anyone have an opinion on something!

But it's just harmless fun....

If your w2b doesnt like any of these things either then I suspect she has told whoever is organising her hen do. If my OH was going on like you are it would completely ruin my night.

?

You and I obviously have very different definitions of "fun" and "harmless".

Well that's obvious. I still maintain that an inflatable penis is harmless and cant actually hurt you though.

Depends how hard you hit someone with it.

Well I'm not violent (or very big) so I couldnt hit someone very hard with it.

Do you mean your pecker isn't very big?

I would have had an issue with a stripper on my hen night... as it happens, I only invited those closest to me who knew me well enough to know that if they have hired a stripper I would have been out of there like a shot.

haaaa thats made my day....

I personally am kinda dreading this time next year - I have a real problem with strippers for men. To me it is a totally different thing to the types of strippers for women, and OH is of the same view. If that is a double standard, it can't be helped, and at least OH are on the same page. I have seen performances for women, and I have a friend who is a lap dancer and they are worlds apart.

I think the ones for women tend to be 'comedy' whereas for guys it can be OTT and very s3xual. OH knows how I feel, and I just have to hope he respects that (or whoever organises it). In his words, if I go to see a chippendales type thing, he doesn't see that as s3xual, but just a laugh. Not that I plan on anything like that anyway.

He has been in a strip club on a stag last year and found it repulsive and creepy. (Not enough to leave!) He had promised me he would not go in if it ended up going down the lap dancer stag route, and he was full of morality over strippers. Then when it came down to it, he said he got so drunk he had no clue what kind of bar they were in til they were sitting down with drinks and the best man was beckoning over some waitresses. I find that very hard to believe so I have to say on this matter I don't feel I trust him 100%. That makes me feel sad, but OH had very grand words to me, and I guess they were not so easy to say or act on when with a huge group of drunken blokes acting like - well blokes! He witnessed the stag tied around a pole and a sort of faux lesbian show performed all around him while each of the others had a sort of group lapdance. It makes me feel sick thinking about it if I am truly honest.

I have told him that if I find out he has had anything like that I will be calling the wedding off. Some may laugh at me and say its extreme or old fashioned and too controlling but I cannot help the way I feel on it. In my eyes it is more or less the same as picking up a girl in a club and getting naked with her. The fact that it is someone's job doesn't make it any better. I wish I didn't feel so strongly!

Agree 100%.

No need to be sorry about feeling strongly on the issue - unfortunately good morals are something sadly lacking in the world generally these days.

That is highly judgemental.

Sorry, but I fail to see how seeing a stripper is the same as having sex with a random. You cannot compare the two.

Just because I don't see the problem with strippers, does not make me morally inept.

Something of a sweeping generalization!

I like how, without fail, stripper topics always bring out the best debates! haha

With regards to the OP, I think I would feel a bit anxious on OH stag weekend too and for the same reasons as you- ie hope that they are ok and not getting into too much trouble! Hence the reason we are having our stag and hens on the same weekend.

I dont want a stripper and hoping that OH wont have one either. He says hes never been interested in one before so why would he now. We'll see...

I dislike strippers and typical hen night shenanigans. My friends respected this and we all had a great time with nothing that would make me feel uncomfortable. All of the hen nights I have been to have been stripper-free as a matter of fact. Though at one hen do I went to there was a naked butler and it made me ?... that's just me though.

I also dislike the idea of my h2b going to a strip club. I don't think he is into them. He did go to one once as part of his friend's stag and he says he didn't like it, he said he felt all seedy and it was not for him (or his mates as they left pretty quickly). He didn't tell me because he thought I would be mad with him (one of his friends mentioned in passing at a later date) but I wasn't. I could see it was part of his friend's stag do and in that kind of situation, you go along with it. It's not like they went to a brothel or something.

I don't think it his thing, but if his mates made him go, or if he felt pressured into going and went along with it, I wouldn't judge him.

Watching a stripper and having sex with a randomer are in no way comparable.

Firstly, lap dances are strictly one-way activities. Strip clubs have very heavily enforced rules about not touching the dancers. It is not a participant activity. It's more akin to watching soft porn than anything else - and I'm talking very soft, the sort of thing you'd see in an episode of SATC.

It really seems to me that issues with OHs visiting strip clubs almost always reflect an insecurity on your (generic "your") part. if you're genuinely worried that your OH will derive too much pleasure from watching someone else take their clothes off, then it stands to reason that you'd feel uncomfortable with them having a stripper at a hen/stag do. However, I'm yet to meet a single b2b or h2b that sincerely prefers the sight of anyone else naked to their own partners.

Hen and stag dos don't always have to include strippers anyway! Mine didn't. We went shopping, then had a nice meal then went back to my place for cøcktails (and got dressed up as pirates!). It was absolutely perfect, and I felt all the better about it for knowing that H wasn't at all paranoid/insecure/bitter about the fun I was having with people other than him.

Exactly.... proof that having a few drinks and spending some time with your best girlie friends doesn't mean you're out on a one woman mission to bonk as many people as possible, throw up on your mum and have a huge slanging match in the street.

I don't know where you live AJ but not all girls behave like the ones on Booze Britain!!

Were you at my hen do?

My Husband wasn't paranoid or insecure when I went on my hen night because he trusts me and he knows how I feel about him.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who the bride or groom are with on their stag/hen night if you trust your B2B/H2B....

Strippers of the male or female variety really don't bother me. OH has been to strip clubs on stag night and football trips and, as long as he doesn't actually do anything with them, in my opinion, it's completely harmless fun.

I went on a hen do this weekend where they had a Butler in the Buff and all the hens were slapping his bottom etc. I did think at the time that, if it had been a stag party with a female "butler" and all the stags were slapping her bum, it'd be seen as degrading, but when it was a bunch of girls it was ok. Complete double standards. But we loved it!

South London. Is that some sort of tv programme you refer to? I only bother to watch Doctor Who (so haven't turned the telly on since April).

I think the stripping industry is vile, not the strippers themselves. They are human beings and don't deserve to be labelled in such terms.

This whole thread has made me smile. I took AJs first comment as tongue-in-cheek, in the same tone as many us might say we'd chop our boy's d*cks off if they cheated etc. But then the whole "drinking is amoral" thing makes me angry. Really AJ, drinking excessively is amoral? Or do you mean that you feel drinking excessively and behaving badly (flashing knickers, sucking off plastic willies etc) is amoral? Because the problem there isn't with the drinking part.

My hen do featured lots of drinking and the occasional slightly saucy truth or dare question. No willies, no nudity, no strippers. Amoral? F*ck off.

Yes. So you feel that the action is vile, not the girl herself. Hate the sin, love the sinner, man