Trying for Babies after wedding...

I'll have to wait aaaages ☹️ When we marry, I'll be just about to start my final year at uni, and then I'll need to work for a year or so after I graduate before starting to try so it'll be about 2-3 years. I'd happily have one now if circumstances were different... Sigh...

We got married in Sept, and we're going to start trying in May. I'm mega broody and want to start trying now, but we're hoping to go away June next year. xXx

Congratulations Froggy!!! xXx

Froggy thats fab news!

H and i are ttc now and hoping that come 1st december there will be no AF!!!

We get married 28/05/2011 and will hopefully be buying our first home together next July/August, and hoping to try for a baby next Christmas ?

We're getting married May 7th, and we've been trying for 5 months

I'm the opposite to you, I'm maternal, but I don't really like being around other peoples kids. People find that strange, they assume that because i have a child, and am up-duffed again, then i must love kids.

I never used to be maternal, even when pregnant with my first. Unfortunately it took a miscarriage to make me feel maternal.

No no no - not happening! H2B would love another but we have 8 year old twins and I am very happy at 2, they are enough thankyou very much!!!!

My OH has 2 aswell, luckily, i like them ?

I think that's really decent of you, does he want that for himself too?

My OH is 35, so had his years having fun (according to him), and is desperate for more kids, even though i haven't popped this one out yet.

i had my son at 18, and after i had him, i was adamant i wouldn't have any more. At 6 (almost 7), he's at an age where i feel i'm getting my life back, but then OH was so desperate for another, we decided to try for one.

We are getting married on 27th August 2011 and we will start trying straight away! We would like to have been expecting at the time of the wedding, to announce it at the evening party but as we are spending a week in Ibiza for our honeymoon partying hard, we didn't think it would be a wise idea with all that drinking!!

I wouldn't mind coming off the pill sooner but I can't imagine after all this time of not having a period (I'm on the mini pill), having one on my wedding day or on the honeymoon. So reckon I might as well come off it ages after when it's all done

I don't know that we will. We've already got a 5 (nearly 6!) year old, a 4 year old and a 23 month old, so it's a full house as it is!! I'd like to have another in 5ish years but we're also trying to plan out moving abroad for a few years, so having another baby wouldn't fit in very well with that.

Congrats on your news Froggy!!

Well we already have one little man but we think we will start trying for a 2nd as soon as were married, or maybe after the honeymoon!

Me and my OH really want to have one - but now with the wedding so close nearly 7 months to go don't want to be pregnant before incase of illness sickness or not fitting in dress plus goin on honeymoon which will be our first holiday away together. However not sure what to do about stopping the pill as it can take ages for fertility to return but also don;t want to have af on honeymoon or wedding - very tricky!!!! lol (the random thoughts that go through my mind - thanks for letting me share )

AgentBlackCat - I have the same worries, how long will it take before my body gets used to not being on the pill after nearly 10 years! Spoke to my Family planning nurse and she suggested "up to" 6 months for cycles to return to normal, but said that some women fall pregnant immediately. So you just never know do you?

I have been really ill this weekend, have the flu and also been quite sick, Mom did suggest I may be pregnant but at 8 months and 3 weeks to the wedding, i'd totally freak! Was very odd curling up with OH last night and him rubbing my tummy while suggesting this....

The odd thing is, I 100% didn't want to have kids before I met OH, I had a severe dislike of the lil monkeys!! But OH came with a 1.5year old niece and 7 month old nephew and my brother also got with his OH who has a 1 year old, so being with OH and with those babies has made me a broody nightmare!

Hi Kayl - lol you sounld like me so much, my OH comes with 2 kids who are gorgeous plus a lovely niece and everyone around me seems to be having babies - think I go on about it everyday - but its just as well my OH is the same.

He would be over the moon if i turned out to be PG at any point - think he gets slightly dissapointed when my AF turns up lol

x

I know what you mean about everyone having kids too, I am only 23 and my Closest friend in Primary School has 3 kids now! At first I am not going to lie - I was thinking "more fool you", but now I see how happy she is with her and her Hubby and kids, she doesn't look like she is missing out on life in the slightest!

My OH varies depending on how well / badly behaved the kids have been. If his nephew cried all night, or got travel sick in his nice shiny car or his niece has the devil in her that day he swears he doesn't want any! But at other times, he is asking to buy baby clothes to put them up for our kids! hehe.

Minicooper - can completly see where you are coming from I am in the same situation as you as my OH also has 2 kids from previous relationship - they change everything

Mini - this is what worries me, I mean we don't know what we are giving up. Both of us have done very well at work recently - OH climbing the ranks at work and increasing his wages by 50% in 18 months and me qualifying in my role and again getting a huge pay increase.

At the moment this is all going into our wedding fund, but I am worried that once the wedding is over and that spare cash is floating in our account, we will truely know what kind of lifestyle having the kids will be making us give up if that makes sense?

We are also both very young - OH is 19 and i'm 23.

My OH has 2 children from a previous relationship and I agree they totally change everything! theyre only with us every other weekend (just gone home actually!) but still i am a different person because of them (this isnt a bad thing - im just different). He tells me that he never wanted any more at all (One of them is his stepson, and his daughter was born when he was 23) but when we got together his mind changed and now he wants babies with me!

Our original plan before deciding to get married was to start trying this year, but he then said he would rather we got married first (he wasnt married before) and after a little while i agreed and now im soooo glad i did. We have been saving our pennies every month since we got together, for holidays, house and now the wedding so we're gona wait at least a yr afterwards so we can enjoy eachother and being at least £500 a month better off!! We can go places we've always wanted to go and treat ourselves a bit...plus we wanna enjoy being married for a bit before introducing anyone else into the mix!

Obv if i got pregnant now i would be over the moon but i'd rather it was planned - i have the choice so we choose to wait. x

We are trying straight after the honeymoon

I've been on the pill 15 years so i'm hoping i'm one of the ones that gets caught straight away but its not the end of the world if we don't get caught straight away. We will both be 30 then and after having discussed it we are happy we are at the right time of our lifes, it couldn't be more perfect

Thanks Mini - it is nice to hear from someone who is thinking a married couple should wait. People tend to assume that because we know it's going to be me and OH forever, we need to make it a family of 3 (or even four as we have twins in our family!).

I guess we shall see what happens, because OH is away 6 months out of every 2 year cycle, it may suit us better for him to go away, have 18months as a Mr and Mrs, another 6 months away and then try for baba. I am a qualified accountant, working as an auditor, and i'd love to make a break in careers to be an accountant so perhaps I need to do that first too.

Either way, I think as long as your thinking about it and trying to understand how life will change so you have some idea of what your getting yourself into, it must be good. Although I prepared for the fact that the reality of sleep depravation, and naughty crying babies will be worse that you can prepare yourself for! As much as I love looking after my niece, it's only every for one day or night, and that's very different.

Can I be honest? I do feel a pang of jealousy reading this thread as I dont think I'll have kids now. I'm 38, and my ex didn't want kids so that essentially meant that was that ... as as we were together for 16 years, I now realise, with a pang of utter despair, that I wasted my prime Motherhood years royally. And I won't ever get those back.

I didn't think it was a big deal back then. Now we've split and I have found Bloke, I would have kids tmrw given the chance, but he's ten years older than me and has 2 kids from previous relationships - both of whom treat him like crap really. His daughter he didn't even know was his until a few years ago (she is now 23 and living on the other side of the world) - I think they've met three times, but she doesn't want much to do with him. Which I suppose is sort of understandable as she grew up thinking another man was her father. Its complicated. Anyhow.

his son isn't much better - 13 years old, and is essentially kicking Bloke in the guts on a fairly regular basis as far as not giving a shyte. Its causing a lot of generally. I don't blame the Boy so much, as his mother, who uses him as some sort of weapon against Bloke. She still has a massive hang up over the break down of their relationship, and does what she can to makes Blokes life a bit of a misery. I feel for Bloke, but now Boy is getting older, that bond is beginning to break. Which I suppose is bound to happen but its the MANNER in which the ex allows it to happen. last minute let downs time after time after time after time. Which I know hurts Bloke a lot.

So, part of me would love to give Bloke a chance to be a dad to a kid who actually gave a poop, cos I think as a couple we'd make fab parents. And I have also unearthed my urge to have kids, which I evidently kept hidden during my last relationship because of my ex's total lack of interest. It makes me horribly horribly horribly sad that realistically, me and Bloke having kids ain't going to happen. Age being the main issue, for us both, particularly for Bloke.

My OH has a 10 year old son and can't wait to have more babies with me. I'm not so sure - I've never been very maternal and while I do want us to have children, I'm enjoying my life too much at the moment!

I'm thinking that we'll start trying after our first anniversary - so about 2 years from now. x

We'd love to have a family but not for a while. We're getting married because we want to be husband and wife. We are going to be our priority for the next few years. I think we'll make much better parents if we do as much as we can to fulfil our dreams before we start a family. We also want to make sure that we have a secure platform to bring up children and, to us, that means a nice big house somewhere safe. Money in the bank for holidays and schooling, should we want to go down that route.

I suspect we'll give it 3-4 years of hard work in terms of building up some money and then we'll let nature take it's course! We're both feeling very broody but we know having children now wouldn't be the right thing for them.

my mum has 5 kdis SP, she had my little brother at 38

Id love to be pregnant at the wedding and annouce it and OH would ove it too....we get married the may, probably come off the pill in the feb and see how it goes...i never had bad periods prior to the pill so would assume id be ok coming off it !?!?

My other half wants to get a move quickly after the wedding but i want to be in our new house, I want to bring up my children in the country and be closer to my parents, i suppose we will just have to see what happens!!!

Sammy your almost my date twin! We will start trying immediately after the wedding!

I originally wanted to start trying straight away but the more i think about it the more i want to wait.

Like a few others have said all of our (mostly mine) money has gone into the wedding for the last year and it'll be lovely to have some money for me again.

Plus we'll be moving into our first home together (currently both living with my mum) so want some time just the two of us.

So i'd say maybe a 12-18 months after the wedding.

My parents had me very early, just inside a year of getting married. I was unplanned and unexpected. It basically ruined their lives, as they weren't really ready to have me, and instead of able to enjoy each other they had to look after me, and they drifted apart, and as soon as I was 16 went their separate ways.

I can understand people wanting to "get on and have children" - but from personal experience and being on the wrong end of it, unless you have urgent (health or age, for example) related reasons I would recommend waiting.

I'm with you on this Trickers! I fell pregnant very unexpectedly at 20 and although it was a big shock it actually brought us closer together.

Perhaps it's just me then ruining their lives.

I would like children - 1, maybe 2 - at some point but the whole idea feels me with complete dread as I really don't know how I'd cope when I seem to make a mess of a lot of far less important things.

Not getting married till September 2011 anyway so plenty of time before starting to think about having children.