What happens with strippers on stag nights?!

Its ok, all they do is lick whipped cream off them to start things off, and end up having gentle, tender s*ex, he'll love it!

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dont worry, when she sucks his cock she ll make him wear a condom.

Thank you, very helpful!

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I really think you are thinking about this too much. How would you feel if someone got you a stripper. A roomful of your mates jeering and cheering whilst a complete stranger who probably isn't that attractive takes their clothes off. Personally I would find it cringeworthy and embarrasing but wouldn't want to upset the people who had foolishly paid their money for this so might play along with it( in all honesty though this is totally hypothetical as my *know* that I would hate anything like this)

Chill out its not a big deal and he certainly isn't 'cheating on you'

Depends on how much his mates pai..... No, no.

The ones I've seen have all been fairly tame to be honest, bit more wiggle & giggle than anything to do with ping pong balls.

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youre right though ?

My H went to a lapdancing club on his stag night. He came back home at about 4am dying for a shag, so i'm pretty sure he didn't get any 'relief' at the venue. ?

It was a bit uncomfortable to think he was enjoying watching other women bouncing around naked, but I think I was just jealous that they've got bigger boobs then me!

Ahem... my OH went on a stag party not in the UK, and if you are feeling sensitive do not read on.

15 of them in a lap-dancing club. Groom and father of the groom ordered some 'private services.' (Am not sure if different 'dancer' provided these to each.) Best man tried to put a 'sex aid' somewhere it wasn't intended on/in a 'dancer.' My OH said the venue (and I quote) 'smelt of minge ' ?

I have serious ammo against a lot of people I know, it seems! Hence the anonymisation - walls have ears, and the such.

ETA - his mates are seedy little buggers, and this was not entirely unexpected. All other stag nights he's been on have been much more tame.

I was in a lap dancing bar in hungary (with a hitcher actually ?) and this utterly gorgeous girl said to me "i ll do anything you want, 200 euros". so i said anything at all? she said yes. i said right, i want x, y and z then. she said "oh, i dont do anything like that" ??

I think where my OH went the entire party could have been serviced for 200 euros ?

I can't answer your question as I've never seen one, but I'd say it's definitely worth talking about with your OH.

People have very different views on strippers, and what is and isn't acceptable. If it makes you very uncomfortable (and imho that's perfectly acceptable) I think that he has a right to know that; not in a bossy/controlling/ultimatum way, just that I'm sure he would want to be aware of your feelings and wouldn't want you to be hurt because of it.

Having said that, you say his friends "might" get him a stripper, maybe you're worrying about this too far in advance.

My OH was very clear with his friends from the outset that he didn't want anything like that (no pressure from me, honest! just brought up by a strongly feminist mother who drummed it into him that it's a form of exploitation), despite the fact they were mostly single and quite frankly wanted the excuse. However, they stuck to what they had been asked by OH. I don't think it's fair to expect anyone to just "chill out and go along with it" if they're not comfortable with it.

I am aware I am a boring old fogey though ?

It totally depends.

On my OH's stag they went to Stringfellows and spent a ton on money on lap dancers.

For a friend's stag, OH went to a seedier bar in Essex where it was £10 per dance. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once and spent the night being danced for by the two hottest Hungarian twins he'd ever seen in his life. Again he spent a ton of money but got more dances and enjoyment.

R-A this may sound rude, I apologise as I don't mean it to be but you seem to take life waay too seriously at time.?

I imagine a large portion of stag do's end up in some form of strip joint but I honestly don't think they're anything to worry about. If your OH goes to a lap dancing place I think there is a no touching policy. If they hire him a private stripper she quite likely won't be a vision of his pin up beauty. Either way I wouldn't worry and I certainly wouldn't think of it in terms of cheating.

To go off on a tangent slightly. R-A I really don't think strippers are being expolited. If anything it's the men who pay for them who are. they're the eejits paying a fortune. It's hardly comparable to women being sold as sex slaves

exactly

Least he's talking about it with you.

A friend of my H's wife put an absolutely no strippers rule for her H's stag do.

Given they are both firm Christians, you'd think that's not too surprising and the stag agree with her wishes BUT then told his best man to order him three.... ?

It's funny expcet there are photos of his various "exploits" (child in candy store comes to mind) and I do wonder what will happen when people bring them out one day by accident...

Yeah, I told you I'm a boring old fart ?

I don't think it's cheating, and I don't think anyone said that, did they?

I do think there's a serious point to be made about talking to your OH if something is really bothering you - be it about sex, strippers or anything else in your life. That's just how I think good relationships should work.

Oh, and the serious hard-core feminist is his mother, not me!

(I am aware that as a doc that looks after women in all branches of the sex trade I have a different view of this than others)

I'm not sure if I'm being boring and old fogeyish!

He has said to his friends that he doesn't want one - hence why we were taking about it, but they're the kind that would just go along with what they wanted rather than what he wanted!

Mr Nora is the same everytime ?

He also tells me in detail exactly what they do and at times it is more than I would expect from a stripper but its just titilation and I quite like the thought of another woman floating his boat. I also totally agree with POD that the blokes are far, far more exploited than the strippers!

ha ha! That made me laugh, I've got awful visions now. Think I'd quite like to be a fly on the wall!

Pod, I don't think one can make any sweeping statements about who is and isn't being exploited. there are women who make a lot of money from stripping, who have control over what they do and who enjoy it. There are also women, at different sorts of places, who make very little money and have very little control over what they do. The fact that men are "being exploited" (or "freely choosing to spend their money in a strip club") doesn't mean that the women also aren't, especially when you consider that they often have to pay a large percentage of their takings to the club (or even a large flat fee, meaning they might make a loss). It seems to me an industry that encompasses a very wide range of women in very different situations.

Exactly WSS. And unfortunately there is no equivalent of the Soil Association for women in the sex industry ?

I think it depends on the stripper type really doesn't it? A stripper that comes to a party is quite different to a lapdance type stripper isn't it? I've always thought of the party ones as more comedy almost. H has been to a few strip places in his time and what happens seem to vary quite a bit depending on where they are. The ones abroad seem to be a lot more... flexible?

Exploitation?! I'll tell you about exploitation. Work Christmas party 2007 a few of us end up at Spearmint Rhinos. MrKB and I are pounced on by these two stunners. He's in his element, one's sat on his knee stroking his ego, the other is talking to me. They offer us a private 30 minute dance. Hell yeah he says and off we go. He didn't agree a price for this dance with the girls (one tequila too many!) so after what apparently was a 30 minute show, in reality it was just about 10minutes, we get stung for £300! Three hundred quid! Thankfully we were on a work do and all expenses were paid, but boy did they see us coming ?

TMI KB ?

WKNS with bells on, and it's the same with prostitution, and porn. There are girls who are educated, clued-up and doing it out of active choice, and there are those that are not. I see both regularly.

Unfortunately, as the punter, you can't tell which are which.

Totally agree.

wwwwwwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! ?

Yep, Mr S told me all the details as well. Actually, I think I would rather enjoy going with him to see female strippers. Certainly preferable to males. The idea of oily buldgey blokes in some sweaty cabaret venue makes me want to heave, properly.

its normally about 70 quid they have to pay, its not a percentage of their earnings on the total.

and yes, i know 70 quid still equates to a percentage, but i dont really think thats what you meant.

No, £70 is a flat fee. As I said, my understanding is that in some places the women pay a flat fee, in some they pay a percentage.

I ve never known a percentage, ever. and i ve been to many strip clubs ?

not to say it doesnt exist, but i ve never come across it

That's how I understand it to be too, and there seems a wide variety in fees in terms of type of establishment etc.

I certainly wouldn't say that "most" take a flat fee of £70 in my experience.

ETA I don't really see what the amount of the fee has to do with the argument anyway? Some women are not exploited, but some are (and not just financially).