What Is The Role of Your Mum at Your Wedding?

I love the idea of seeing what other people think about mums at weddings because I'm really close with my mum and recently decided I'd like both her and my dad to walk me down the aisle.

My FH and I have also decided to get our mums involved with the ceremony a little bit, as we're having a traditional Pagan handfasting in which family members present us with a handfasting cord or ribbon - we decided this was a great way to get my mum and his mum involved, as they'll choose the ribbon and present it to us for the actual cord wrapping/tying part.

In terms of planning, I've probably had more little arguments with my mum in the last few months than we've had since I was a teenager. Mostly because I'm currently living almost four hours away from her, so I feel like I'm planning a lot on my own where normally my mum and sister and other bridesmaids might help out. A lot of the little tiffs have been about the guestlist, about family, and about people she thinks I should invite that I honestly don't feel like I know well enough or care about having there at all. This seems to be a theme for a lot of brides, though!

- What involvement does your Mum have at your Wedding?

I love talking to my mum about planning my wedding, in a way she's been involved before we were even engaged! But she's been more like a best friend, she's excited for me and to make it the day me and FH want rather than getting involved in the sense of deciding or asking for anything. I actually said to her that if I didn't know she'd absolutely hate it, she'd have been one of my bridesmaids - and she agreed she'd have hated it haha. Just like my bridesmaids though, she gets involved in all the Pinterest boards and excitable moments. I'm also planning on gifting her the same necklace I'll give to my bridesmaids.

- Is there anything non-traditional that your Mum is doing at your Wedding?

She's making our cake! That's not a cake but a tower of her famous chocolate brownies! In a gender role reversal moment as well, my dad went dress shopping with me and so my mum decided she wants to be surprised and have that first look moment that dads normally have on the day!

- How are you getting on with your Mum during your Wedding Planning?

Great! She's so excited and supportive of all our ideas and our vision for our friends-over-extended-family day of fun! (It's FH's mother that's been the problem...)

Hi Hannah,

Great set of questions:

- What involvement does your Mum have at your Wedding?

An interesting one, as my mother passed away a long time ago, and I have certainly found certain aspects of wedding planning very much geared towards 'mum and daughters' together, so that 'norm' can raise a lot of extra questions/awkward conversations with suppliers etc. She's still certainly a key person who drives a lot of my decision making process, but in a different way.

- Is there anything non-traditional that your Mum is doing at your Wedding?

My auntie had some of my mum's ashes places in a blue ring, so I'll be 'borrowing' the 'blue' ring so my mum will still walk me down the aisle - and be both my borrowed and blue.

- How are you getting on with your Mum during your Wedding Planning?

This role has been filled by future mother in law - and she is a godsend (it helps she's a professional dress-maker, so the dress journey has been something special to share and bond over). There's certainly times however when I have needed advice and not had someone on hand who would understand quite like my mum! I'd say for brides planning without a mum be prepared for a lot of mixed emotions and assumptions/awkward questions from suppliers who don't know your circumstances. Having a future mother in law and aunts who I can rely on and trust to support me has been a huge help, so finding those people who can offer that support has been very special, and essential to keeping me on track.

I'm sure lots of couples might be on a similar path, so advice articles/tips from Hitched on how to prepare for planning without a key family member/parent would certainly find a receptive audience xxxx

I’m really close to my Mum so I’ve loved involving her in all of the planning. She lives in Spain so it’s not the easiest to do things together but we’ve already done a ton of wedding planning face times.


On the day her main job is going to be wrangling the bridesmaids who are all very different and have their own ideas on how things should be done and she’s also going to be checking the decor and setup for me before the ceremony. I’ve not given her any other jobs as I really want her to relax and enjoy the day 😊

Dont know what i can put for this i was once close to my mum until my planning of an elopment so she isent involved at all and we dont talk anymore xx