2012 Brides Facebook Group

This is for you Tricks please don't flounce!

I flounced yesterday afternoon but then I came back. Does that count?

No Ali_G I totally agree disagreeing isn't bullying- 100% BUT when people obviously take the piss out of others its not nice (bullying is the wrong word for this your right but its not nice!)

I understand your point about getting sarcastic posters on a lot of forums but I just don't see the need for people to be like that. I can only imagine how new people feel about posting.

Again i am not calling anyone a bully- I do think some people are out of line but as have said on FB not everyone gets on in life

TBH Stef, you havent been here long and dont have many posts so you dont know me at all or the way I post. I get that it can come across as harsh but I never bully anyone and I have never been rude to anyone - like some are to me.

I've been here 3 years and in that time have got to know a lot of people who have stuck around on Hitched and understand the way I post. I am not a monster.

You have to take the good with the bad and just roll with it.

If people stuck around long enough, instead of running at the first sight of humour/sarcasm, I think they'd find that the regulars on these forums are actually pretty damn awesome people.

? ? ?

Awww shucks sassyT ?

I actually agree with this, Tricks for one has given fantastic advice to people- I have been lurking about on here since I got engaged in 2010- but at the moment I feel that there is a lot of cr*p going on, possibly because some feel that they have been labeled bullies??? Its like posts are immediately turned into being sarcastic (again not by any one person)?? Its not like the banter that used to be on here

WSS. We were all de-fluffed as newbies by the older members here, because let's face it, nearly all of us were fluff monsters when we joined, having just got engaged! It took a while to get into the swing of things, but we did.

Your entitled to your opinion too and I respect that- its just how I feel

If anything, my posts are actually a lot tamer than they used to be.

I agree with OB, people just seem to be a lot more sensitive. Why would I deliberately go out of my way to bully someone on a forum? That's just not me.

Exactly this. The banter is completely one sided now. When others do join in with the banter, it's viewed as ganging up on the newbies. It's not that AT ALL. It's just that they seem to have been born without the humour gene.

I'm really not suggesting that you come on her to 'bully' people Trick's.

I think maybe people find it a bit daunting when a group of people come on a post and they obviously understand each others sarcasm/humor as they know each other well and post things that maybe others misunderstand??? (not the right word I know, I'm not suggesting a mob or anything, I just lack the words right now to explain myself!)

I must say that almost 2 years ago when I joined I really did misjudge a few people, I even considered leaving but I didn't because I realised that some people just tell it how it is but it doesn't mean that they are being nasty, but it was a bit of a shock at first. 2 years on and I've got so much out of Hitched, it's been brilliant, and I know so many great people because of it. You get out of Hitched what you put in, never a truer word was said to me when I first joined. There are no bullies, there are no bitches, and you'll still see alot OM's giving supportive, constructive advice on the WP boards. I think a few of the newbies just need to relax a little and stop flying off the handle at any given opportunity. Hitched would be a better place for it. To be blunt, just grow a pair!

The only thing I am p*ssed off about is being bitched about off this forum by people who dont know me and where I cant defend myself. You may say that no names have been mentioned (which is true) but it is obvious.

I can see were your coming from with that tbf but I guess I'm a little naive as I really didn't feel that it was directed to anyone in particular

From what I've heard its extremely obvious.

ETA - I apologise to you for taking the slack for this but you're the only one who responded to me and as you can tell my wrath has been building.

Well put Claire. I felt the same when I first started, but it's the honesty and the blunteness that I like most about Hitched, people give honest feedback when asked and that is much more valuable than saying things just to please others. I took the time to get to know the vibe of the forums and then joined in.

It does get anonying when people moan about us long timers ganging up on new members when it is so not the case. Everyone can see how long we have been here and how often we post and should be able to take on our advice without throwing toys out of the pram!

Please take the time to get to know us before branding anyone as being a bully or saying that we are picking on anyone. It will make your time here on Hitched a much better place.

To be honest I have no idea who the 'famous 4' are

I have no idea who the other three are.

Grrr just wrote a really long post and lost it!

Anyway the jist of it was:

no worries Trick's it was my choice to post- i just wanted to try clear the bad air coz I think its a shame for anyone to feel left out or anything. I did for a while feel like I shouldn't post (in general not just on this topic) as I was worried about the response it wold evoke.

Mabey it should just all be put to bed now!

I think it's more from the threads that have been mentioned while referencing the bullying aspect Pinky - those threads contain certain posters so one could assume that's who they're talking about.

nb - no bullying whatsoever was going on on these posts - as mentioned above, people just seem to be much more sensitive these days.

As an aside: The problem is, Hitched has a great niche going on. The style of posting here has always been based in honesty rather than blowing smoke up people's arses. There are LOADS of wedding forums that already do just that. Why make Hitched one of them?

I honestly don't understand why those that prefer a fluffier way of life don't just use one of those other forums and leave Hitched as it is - otherwise where will all the non-fluffy people go?!

Fine by me as long as it stops on FB as well!

Can I just clarify as well that the FB page is not a Hitched slagging off page in the slightest and I wouldn't like people to think that that's all we do over there. On the very rare occasion that it happens, the poster is quickly shot down and the discussion is stopped. It's just a way for us to get to know each other a bit better and by no means an alternative to Hitched, just a sort of expansion.

It has! Bdw just so you know it was just one post there isn't generally anything about H on there (don't want you to think that's what goes on) the post has been removed

Pinky6 says it much better!

I agree with this.

When I first joined I wasn't sure what to make of Hitched, I was also a member of the pink pages and the difference was huge. Once I had taken the time to get to know people, their style of posting, I felt much more at ease and preferred the level of honesty that you get here. I never went back to the pink pages.

Not everyone is the same, sense of humour is different, opinions are different. That is what makes the world go round.

If you don't like it, ignore it. If you want to comment, then do. Your world will not end for disagreeing with someone. We are all adults.

This - I was scared to post at first until I found the "mood/tone" of the forums and now just go with it

? There's a group called PINK pages...what the blummin hell am I doing here?!

No, no! Mrs C mean C*ntfetti. You dont want to go over there!

Oh, that's disappointing. Meh, may as well stick around here then ?

This!!! Don't do it!!!