men going for a wee, dab/wipe or shake?

? Beaver Brie

Sorry Mizz Pink.

Mmmm...lancashire labia....

? and ?

am passing all these quotes on the H as we speak

For the dieters amongst us: Quark quim.

Feta flange

?

Feta flange.

Waaaahh, CD, you beat me to it.

Philadelphia fanny, then.

Brilliant, H had feta on Tuesday night as we had no cheddar ?

*spits cheesy jacket spud over screen*

People please! I'm at work! God if IT go through the web surfing logs i'm for the chop! (hang on, i'm already for the chop - oh well.)

Carry on!

Oh and to the OP: Mr Staf is a wiper - not that I've seen him do it, but sometimes I spy a bit of toilet paper in the loo afterwards.

Wensleydale W@nk.

Lol EHJB I was going to go for Wensleydale Wizards Sleeve

its definatley not one of those having never given birth or had exceptionally big c*cks up there....(well maybe a couple ?)

A great thread. Sorry to be boring and go back to the OP: my H shakes. Funny people are so divided over this.

Super thread. I live in a house of shakers. Not so sure about bloke I used to work with though. He wore white trousers. Same pair for the whole week, clean and white on Monday morning but had minging pee stains there Tuesday which just got worse and worse. It was so horrid but it was a strangely compelling sight to watch the development and spread of the stain hour by hour. He must have tucked it away dripping or not wear pants for it to be as bad as it was.

Great thread, made me laugh out load.

I know a dabber, he keeps a cotton hankie in his pocket and he also uses it to blow his nose. Gross. I never want to shake his hand.

That is beyond gross. Was this scab on the face of humanity married? I can't imagine any sane partner putting up with that.

I laughed so hard at BGB's deli flange! ?

Son is a shaker and oh is a dabber. This made me shudder first time I saw it but I try not to look at him whilst he's dabbing. He also sits to pee, but when he explained the reason why, I'm ok with it.

Apparently he discovered whilst wearing a kilt to a wedding, that on hoisting up the kilt to pee in a urinal, the spray/splash back was wetting his legs. He'd never noticed this before when wearing jeans or trousers as obviously his legs weren't exposed. There fore, he now sits to pee!

Hilarious thread! ?

I (more often than I should) wonder what men do with their penises when they poo? Do they have their legs closed and the penis resting on top or do they have them open with the penis dangling down the loo? If it's dangle down, I wonder if there are ever collisions?

I have asked this many times, but never got a conclusive answer.

SLD - apparently when I was little my Grandmother asked me what my brithday wish had been and I told her that I had wished for a willy. She asked me what I wanted one for and I told her to pee up the wall ?

<aside> willy is a great word. I initially wrote willy instead of penis in the above post, it made me laugh so hard that even I couldn't give my very serious enquiry the gravitas it deserves </aside>

We have had the conversation (we, as in a bunch of friends - mixed both and men and women). I'm told that they tuck it in, in the event of them unintentionally weeing whilst pooing.

Oh yes, for over 30yrs. Maybe she realy hated him so enjoyed making him look a nobber at work. He is also a naturist and brought holiday snaps in to show. Complete with every little detail IYSWIM.

Vile man.

Tuck it in where? I now have an image of the end popped in the belly button.

? As in tuck it in, so that it is pointing downwards into the toilet, rather than hanging loose up above.

Apparently it has to dangle down so they can wee at the same time - presumably unless they are of horse like proportions there should be no "collisions"...

Shaker here.

Do they rest it on the pan when having a poo? ?

I just asked H: "where does your willy go when you poo" (he was half asleep in bed) and his face was a picture ? and about the risk of 'collisions' and he looked at me with a horrified face and said "NOOO!"

?

Collisions ?

God, I've not laughed so hard in ages ?

I've been with H now for 15 years and have never gone to the toilet in front of him, or him in front of me.... and have no wish to either. Ever. I have no idea how he has a pee, poo or all of the above. And have no wish to either. Ever.

I'm starting to think maybe I'm the weird one here? ?

? I've been read through and laughing on and off all night

MS - Definitely not wierd - I have never gone to the toilet in front of my H either, nor him me

I do know he pees sitting down as he's told me (God knows what the conversation was about ?) but as for dabbing or shaking - haven't got the foggiest and don't care!

Well I wish someone would teach my H as both he and my ex (who I lived with previously) end(ed) up with little wet patches on the front of their boxers. It's yukity yuk and they would wonder why I'm not keen on blow jobs. lol

I'm teaching my son to wipe/dab.

Edited to add that now I have read the whole thread, I have tears streaming down my cheeks! I'm still teaching Alex to wipe! ??

This thread has definitely cheered me up!

My ex and i had been together a month when one night he was sleeping over i went to have a bath and he came in( i though to talk to me) plonked himself down and proceeded to poo !!! i was disgusted, ended up jumping out of bath with soap still in my hair.?

I've just been laughing out loud at this and had to explain why to my H. He told me to tell you the answer is no, and has proceeded to show me why this is the case ?

I'm sorry, but I have to ask - How old is your son??

That wee after sex where it goes in a couple of directions at once - I thought everyone called it "Twin Jets".

My brother told me that when boys poo, a bit of wee always comes out. Is this true?