men going for a wee, dab/wipe or shake?

i am with you on this. H has seen me wee once or twice in the time we have been together - in my defence i was in labour at the time and needed his help to get to the loo and he stayed with me as i was having massive contractions whilst in there...... other than that no way <shudder>

H has taught the boychild how to clean himself.... he shakes so i assume H does the same.

WSS. I think he must shake but I have no idea really. I have no idea about male toilet habits - gives me an excuse to put Mr R in charge of toilet training the 2 YMRs.

WSS except its 13 years here. He may have seen me give birth twice, but I have no desire for him to see me on the toilet or vice versa. It's bad enough going in there and dealing with the aftermath without witnessing it live ?

I think you really should have a word with her! ?

So it does happen to others then! ?

I have to stand corrected too, as H said last night that after sex 3 wee is not caused by Kn*b cheese but when the japs eye distorts into a funny shape.....sounds like the same thing to me. Personally I think he didnt want people to think he has an unclean willy or me a feta flange!

OMG Luthien, I have never laughed so much at a comment on Hitched. I've just answered a call at work, whilst reading this and promptly burst out laughing at the poor guy ??

To whoever mentioned the possibility of a tucked-in willy accidentally coming into 'collision' during a poo - my god, how long is your OH's willy? Have I been misinformed all these years about what's normal? ?

You can imagine what was our main topic of conversation last night! I asked about the three-way or 'jet' wee and SB says it's caused by being lazy and not pulling back your foreskin properly (which I suppose is where the reshaping of the hole comes into it). He always rearranges himself so does not have this problem. He is dilligent with his willy!

I didn't think about the poo/willy conundrum though - it would be a little bit wrong to text him to ask this wouldn't it?*

We were talking about this all through the time that I was cooking dinner last night - I was fascinated! He reckons he's never been caught out by an inappropriate erection as he's always had something to hide it. I was thinking there might be some juicy gossip but apparently the worst time was when he was on a bus with very poor suspension. How dull!

*Ah his boss isn't in work today, fark it!

My OH has turned 30 today, and we were waiting up last night to see in his birthday.

About 23:50 I started telling him about this thread in great detail - with near hysteria when we got to the paying pisser part - and was met with silence. And then.... 'All men [i.e Mr666] wipe their bums stood up!'

OMG I laughed for about 15 mins - and will always now always associate his 30 birthday with visions of him having an upright arse-wipe!

?

Well Mr WT might kneel and pee but he doesnt stand up to wipe his arse! ?

I didn't ask about the arse-wiping, I thought that might be a step too far!

He texted back though - apparently there is a large gap so dangling is not a problem, regardless of girth and length.

I'm really not sure what is worse/funnier! Stoooopid men ?

Hubby said last night that its good that this thread has caused couple to talk about a subject that normally men keep to themselves, I think its more to do with women not wanting to know !

He will be pleased,

?

OMG - how did I miss this thread!!!!

My H is a dabber at home - but then he uses the tissue to wipe around the seat to clear any spills.

I used to think this was very hygienic - after reading this I am thinking he may be weird!!!

erm, no, its to do with the fact that it doesnt ever need to be discussed. you take a leak (standing), you give your cock a shake, and that's that. I certainly don't get "wet patches". urgh, grim

kneeling down to pee is seriously weird. perhaps he was beaten for peeing on the seat w hen he was a child? or made to pray in front of the porcelain god of pee? god its made me feel nauseous reading that. and dabbing? wiping? W.T.F?

Sorry to come back to this so late, but the replies have made me laugh, for those asking how old my son is? obviously he is far too young and we have a few years to go yet but as we are toilet training my 2 and a half year old step daughter it was something that crossed my mind.

<snort> I am so going to have to restrain myself from asking the gentleman caller what he does...I haven't been seeing him long enough for that conversation ? Plus, he'll think I'm weird for asking. Double plus - I'm really not sure I want to know! Cause then I'll just be picturing it and....yeurgh!

The phrase "dab/wipe or shake" is now stuck in my head...dab/wipe or shake...dab/wipe or shake...dab/wipe or shake...it's got kind of a cha-cha beat to it ?

Nick, I'm starting to wonder if you've got issues - you have pretty strong feelings about men who pee any way other than your way ?

(I think Mr G is a sitter but then he always goes in with a book anyway... something about not being nagged/peace and quiet. Dunno what he's on about.)

Chacha beat ?

Presumably collisions can't happen because their testicles are in the way. Or am I missing something? ?

what everyone seems to be ignoring is that ones arsehole is seperated from ones cock and bollocks by a good few inches of "chinrest", and that gravity tends to pull a log downwards rather than at a horizontal and forward 30 degree angle ?

Chinrest!??

Nick is right (obviously, being a man). Mr L. rather despairingly explained "for the tenth time" (or so he says) exactly what Nick just posted.

This helpful diagram should explain

Waaaaaaahhhhh! Hhhhnnnnggg ??? Please stop.

What the ............ ?

Oh god chinrest ??

Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng! ?? my sides, my sides...

i just thought a diagram might be a better explanation ?

??? Thank you, that diagram is most enlightening. I am unlikely to forget this time!

I actually heard someone 'hnnnng' in the loos at work the other day <vomit>

You've had that diagram for ages, just waiting for this thread, haven't you Nick? ?

No I agreed with that earlier... although I missed out the bollocks but. Probably because when I first skim-read SB's text response I thought he was swearing at me! ??

My eyes! ?