A wedding fight in a Hitched paper bag...

If i turn into one of those can someone please please shoot me......!?!

I'm chucking in multiple exclamation marks, xxxxxxxxxxx's and grubby venue toilets where the loo roll runs out early and isn't replaced.

Grim.

I'm putting in wedding websites with twee little sections entitled 'how we met - the real story' or 'how he popped the question!'.

In fact I'm throwing in all wedding websites which don't have any need-to-know info in them the can't be included in the invite.

In the bag, Notts Lass.

In with multiple !!!!!!!!!'s go ",,," instead of "..." and too many "....................................." as well please.

Eye offensive!

Amazzzzin post.. i feel the need to throw in table camera's.. and the chav's who take pics of their asses and nips because the bride and groom won't be expecting it o and the crazy aunt whom thinks its for her to nick!!

Are misplaced aprostophes in there yet? If not, they should go in... and ladies, I have seen a fair few so hop to it!

Please accept my apostrophe below with my most humble apologies...

Can I please throw in the theiving b*stards who stole 3 of my centrepieces and a bottle of VC champers.... ?

I have located one of the centrepieces (although still waiting for it...) - stupid eejit posted a picture of himself on bookface with MY lantern, a hotel cushion and the hotel courtesy umbrella...

I would like to throw in a pinch of the following:

People who say "brought" when they mean "bought"

People who say that they are going to sign the registrar, instead of the register.

?

what kind of loser would steal wedding presents?

My SIL had several centrepeices stolen as well as the wooden numbers she bought. She didn't mind though as she was going to give them away... I would be livid if it were me.

How come, at any large party, someone, somewhere has to steal the decor???

me too- don't mess with the best cos the best don't mess etc etc

A handful or bridezillas, a sprinkling of "sacked" bridesmaids, and a Maggie dress..

Lobs in guests who don't even bother to bring a card

did that happen to you Mrs?

I had a fair few of those too!!!!

You know what.....im chucking in those 'friends' who , with a year to go, are suddenly really really intrested in everything to do with the wedding in the hope of getting and all day invite!!

We since had a few more arrive but there were two individuals who didn't bother with a card...

The cheek! At my SIL's wedding, she put on a bus to take people from the church to the venue (30 mins away). Some of the other guests started to get a bit lairy... I looked over to see them swigging from a bottle of rose wine (they drank the whole lot in 30 mins)... I wondered where they had got the wine from and saw that they had a wine gift bag at their feet. They obs decided that they couldn't wait to get to the reception for a drink there and that they would drink the couple's present.

My venue tried to steal mine. Came down the next morning and found them on the breakfast tables!

Brides dictating bridesmaid hair styles, the conga and a pair of scrapping Mums...

I was shocked but the groom wasn't... he said something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, they like their wine"!!!

A pensioner at the evening reception who gets hammered, pukes up and wets themself in the taxi.....

Lobs in the 'Facebook Photo Ban' debate..

Grates in the 'Secret Facebook Group' tantrums.

And a light dusting of trolls

Hen Do's (although I am bitter)

The term "Bridezilla"

I like trolls. Makes things interesting.

Fishbowls, bird cages and fairytale castle cakes

Everyone who replies with "Wow, that's a long time!" when I say I've booked my wedding for 2013. I'm sorry I'm not as loaded as you, and don't want to get into debt, so I'm saving up!

Also: More chair covers (I won't be satisfied till all the chair covers in the world are in the bag!).

Receiving lines ?