men going for a wee, dab/wipe or shake?

??WAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Now, I hope he'd dabbed/wiped/shaken thoroughly beforehand so there weren't any pissy drips ?

I think it's most unfair to make me laugh so much when I'm in so much pain.

I have just read the whole thread and my eyes are sore from crying because I was laughing so much. I really needed cheering up thank you all?

I'm another one who started crying with laughter at the diagrams. I have no idea what my H does as again, I would never wee etc in front of him. ?

My H is in the middle of reading this and is laughing so much he has a headache and said he was going to be sick ?

I made the mistake of reading the last few pages whilst on a conference call - I'm glad I am pretty nifty with the mute button! This has been absolutely hilarious and the diagrams are priceless ??

I think this is more abnormal that normal. Most mornings when I'm in the shower H gets up has his morning wee (last ages and stinks ?

the same goes for when he is in the bath, I need a wee so we sit and chat and he take the mick by doing his usual girls weeing noise...sssssssssss?

I'm please we have an open relationship!

Well, for a start we have two bathrooms, so not an issue for us in the same way (not two sheds I promise). I'm quite a private person and me and my H do have quite an open relationship, we just don't want to see each other use the bathroom

Loving the targetted advertising for this one - anyone for a "low price dry WIPE board"? ? I'd definitely need to see the diagram for that one.

Protein SHAKE anyone?

This thread is fabulous. ?

For those women who want to wee standing up - I present the She-Wee (http://www.youreableshop.co.uk/product/shewee-female-urinal-ME/SW01.html?catid=15).

This thread is brilliant!

Feta flange ?

Praying p!sser ?

Diagrams ?

I have no knowledge of what MrSC does toilet wise. I assume he shakes but he's never got patches that I've noticed. I have weed in front of him and him in front of me - I don't see a problem, the toilet is in the same room as the shower so it's not like he's watching me wee, and if he has to go while I'm in the shower then he sits (he doesn't normally AFAIK). I think we know each other well enough at this stage to cope, it's not like a delicate little early days romance that will be easily put off!

I did draw the line once when he wanted to do a poo while I was in the shower though - that's grim.

Hilarious .. and informative too! Hitched needs an award for bringing things to our notice!!

Loving the diagrams too Nick, although they do appear to be of the 'generous proportions' in the knob and bollox departments! And such attention to detail too. No back, sack and crack waxing going on there lol.

Do men always know when they've dribbled? Mr P sure as hell doesn't. He'll come out with a bit of a wet patch sometimes, which makes me cringe. On the occasion I've told him (yep, I'm a nagging bag, but I hate it!) he doesn't know he's got one. He can't see it for starters! It's in my eye-line I'm afraid, whereas he has a paunch in the way lol.

WT .. have to say I've never, ever seen a man kneel to wee. Is this just at home or everywhere? Does he have a prayer-mat sort of thing in front of the loo for his knees? Mine would be buggered if I had to kneel to pee each time!

Ugh, I've just had visions of kneeling in some of the loos I've been to in India where they are a hole in the floor. Someone PLEASE tell me why loos are like this and women use them too. Christ, I've gone from ? to seriously wanting to ? just at the memory of one in particular. Ugh

I am so glad there is only one other person in my office, and even more relieved they are sitting at the opposite end from me. I have been sniggering away for ages now thinking about this thread. Nick - you are an artistic genius - official

My H has confirmed he does indeed shake (although he was taught that more than 5 was a w@nk. He has even suggested that I held his love rod whilst weeing so I could get a 'feel' for what it was like to wee standing up. I did refuse, politely

?

Peaches (and everyone else) just to clarify, Mr WT only does the kneeling to pee thing at home (where each of our 3 loos come to think of it does happen to have a nice rug in front of each). Everywhere else he stands up like normal blokes do!

3 loos you say?

Yes Nick just 3. I only have 1 shed though.

Wahhh you bunch of absolute rotters. I was in the hairdressers waiting for my colour to develop lurking on this thread and I started snorting with laughter once I saw the diagrams. ? This thread is quite possibly the zaniest thing I've ever read on OT. And it's had some quite stiff competition over the years I've been here ?

Anyway, given the graphic representation as to why a (ahem) collision wouldn't occur, I am confused as to why this would be such a problem anyway, ie what would the fallout, as it were, be?

Oh, well that's ok then ?

ah! you should have said! that makes all the difference ??

kneeling down to wee is VERY odd. its just bizarre ?

i still cant get my head around wiping/dabbing

I can't get my head round a bloke being able to kneel and pee...i can't see the loo being low enough

i'll get mr c to try it out when he gets home ?

As far as i am aware, loos tend to be installed at a "regulation" height. Now, I am 6'5, and i just knelt down in front of one of hours, and all i can say is that mr WT either has freakishly long thighs, or a cock thats at least 10 inches long when flaccid, and further, that gravity has no meaning to him, or he has more pressure in his bladder than an industrial compressor.

? at you trying it out too

i've just made mr c kneel (and boy was he disapointed when i explained the reason for it ?) and little mr c could just about lie on the rim...

It's to your credit that you've undertaken some proper research. I applaud you.

?

I've taught Lexi to dab. Oh dear.

In my defence, his willy-shaking was somewhat lacking in terms of containment.

??

I am SO getting Mr V to try this tonight. I will report back. Sigh, if only laughter could start labour, this baby would be here by now... this thread is legend!

Fabulous thread, I've had tears running down my face. Thanks Nick for the diagrams, they are pure class!

Me too Vindaloo, I've just spoken to him on msn and warned him.................? was the reply !

I thought that about long thighs too - good to be proved right.

Well Mr Nora has just tried it and its perfectly possible. He is only 6 foot tall and his thighs are definitely in proportion so does that mean he has a disproportionate ***?

?

Is this going to be like the duvet trick with hundreds of Hitchers trying it out and reporting back?

??? Is there an opportunity for a Fray Bentos pie style report here?

I'm struggling with the 'chin rest' analogy If you've got your chin on that part of your man's anatomy, I'm struggling to picture what you're doing....the angle seems wrong [mind boggles]