Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Kate7695
Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire

Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help!

Kate7695, 20 of November of 2021 at 15:44

Posted on Etiquette and Advice 205

Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my...
Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my house. Neither of them said thank you and when we started talking about plans for the big day including dresses for them, the food, the schedule, one of them was sat arms crossed and didn't say anything other than "I don't like that" or "that colour isnt right". There was nothing constructive or helpful at all. My other bridesmaid took some notes and asked some questions but that was it. When I asked them about dresses, they both picked the same one. I wasn't really pleased as I wanted to go for mismatched dresses - how do I speak to them about this?

After a little more coaxing of answers from them and asking them for their help setting some decor up the day before, the makeup lady arrived. We all had our hair done then our makeup done.

All afternoon I offered drinks and food and if they were all comfy or needed anything. They refused all refreshment and when it got to late afternoon, one of my bridesmaids stood up and said "I'm going now". Her new boyfriend of 8 wks was picking her up. I had no knowledge of this as we had planned to have a late evening of drinks and take-out. I was very disappointed. Then my other bridesmaid said to me "can you text my ex and ask him to drop the kids off here as this is taking longer than I thought. Make sure you say I'm miserable though otherwise he will be annoyed with me". I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was being dropped. I had been so stressed and worried about the day as I needed to talk to them about so much, but they didn't seem to care. I felt as though neither of them wanted to be there or could muster any enthusiasm. I am still feeling hurt today, and I don't know what to do.
I understand they have their own lives but all I asked was for a few hours. They had plenty of time to organise everything.
Please if anyone can advise it would be much appreciated.Katie x

205 replies

  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi lovely it went really well, I was so relieved!! A couple of alterations are needed on the shoulders and sleeves but not at all the nightmare I was dreading. Back there jn a couple of weeks for my second fitting. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    So sorry the shoes arent comfortable especially after they were what you wanted my heels are about 5 inch will only be on for half hour for registry xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    So happy it went well just shoes to sort out now im just getting ready for work 12 hour shift here i come xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Yeah, I was pretty disappointed, but nevermind. No harm done. When I went today for my fitting I took some block heel sandals which are fairly comfy. To be honest with the dress being the way it is, even though the Harriet wilde shoes were what I wanted, the amount of time they will be seen is almost non existant. So I kinda feel daft for splurging in the first place. But at the same time I didn't know they wouldn't be perfect. Does rhat make sense?
    Wow 5"? I couldn't do that. Hats off to you for wearing them even just for the registry ceremony. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun 9nly had 2 hours sleep was meant to habe text b4 its a shame about the shoes thats the only thing that does my head in about buying online ypu dont know how they will be if the ones you wore on day of fitting are comfy could you not find sny like that xx💗
    • Reply
  • A
    Beginner October 2022 Gloucestershire
    ANA ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    I may sound harsh but if I were you, I would remove them from my bridesmaids lists. Rather have not bridesmaids that 2 grumpy and unhappy bridesmaids. They’re not your friends if they’re not celebrating with you
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Thank you you are right.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    Hi hun hows things going have you found any shoes yet xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    My dress arrived exactly what i wanted BUT its a bit to big but thats better than being to small xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi lovely, no sadly not having much luck it seems! How are you doing? Xx
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Aww wow, are you feeling excited yet?
    Well, it's not a great scenario but too big is easier to fix than too small! Take it from someone who knows! xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi i cant believe how hard it is for you to get the perfect shoes what about trying the likes of M&S or next somewhere like that then at least you can try them on xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Yes about it but no with size but it can be altered which is a good thing but i just wish it was happening now and not next year h2b was even on about bringing it forward unlike ypu and the other brides it wont cost a fortune to change but not sure yet xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I know, I have the worst luck with shoes! I always have, unfortunately!
    I think I will give it a go at weekend, I want something comfy but also elegant too. Not too much to ask really haha. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    That sounds like a plan hope you have a good day xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    Hi hun hows you hope things are okay any luck with the shoes xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun ny joy with 👞 xx. 💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    Its been a shit 2 weeks did say out because you have a lot on my uncle passed away my mums brother so we had the funeral a week ago xx💗 It was the hardest day of my life xx
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I am so sorry. You losing a part of your family is so much more important than the crap I have going on. I feel awful, I'm so sorry hun. I honestly don't know what to say other than I'm thinking of you and sending you all the love in the world. 💗Xxxxx
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hey, no not yet, but its not important. 💗 Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Oh yes your shoes are important x💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hey dont be stupid the stuff you are going through is important xx 💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    You neeeeeeeeed shoessssssssssss x💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Haha, I know but I feel awful talking about shoes when you've lost someone. I really do and I am so sorry 💗xx
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    It's important but not AS important. Is there anything I can do for you? Sorry I've not replied the last few days have been insane. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    Dont be silly it was a hard day because none of family spoke to me my partner or daughter they didnt save us a seat with family and we had to stand a back door of crem like we were strangers xx
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    That's absolutely horrible. I don't understand why they would treat you like that! At a funeral of all places people (in my opinion) should be respectful and try to think of others, you're all family and you're all grieving. They shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry you had to go through something so painful and for them to shun you. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun it was i agree with that part it just goes to show how bad our relationship is xx BUT hey you need to find these shoes xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Again, I am sorry for how they treated you. You didn't deserve it at all.
    Haha, I do but I don't know where to look. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Its fine its not your fault 💗 Do any of the bridal shops by you have any xx or on hitched sale at section xx 💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    A few places but not many have shoes. I found a website earlier... Paradox London? They have some really pretty shoes on there. I will have more of a look xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun only just seen this. Dont forget all tje high street shops some have wedding stores as well xx💗
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

General groups

Hitched article topics