Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Kate7695
Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire

Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help!

Kate7695, 20 of November of 2021 at 15:44

Posted on Etiquette and Advice 205

Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my...
Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my house. Neither of them said thank you and when we started talking about plans for the big day including dresses for them, the food, the schedule, one of them was sat arms crossed and didn't say anything other than "I don't like that" or "that colour isnt right". There was nothing constructive or helpful at all. My other bridesmaid took some notes and asked some questions but that was it. When I asked them about dresses, they both picked the same one. I wasn't really pleased as I wanted to go for mismatched dresses - how do I speak to them about this?

After a little more coaxing of answers from them and asking them for their help setting some decor up the day before, the makeup lady arrived. We all had our hair done then our makeup done.

All afternoon I offered drinks and food and if they were all comfy or needed anything. They refused all refreshment and when it got to late afternoon, one of my bridesmaids stood up and said "I'm going now". Her new boyfriend of 8 wks was picking her up. I had no knowledge of this as we had planned to have a late evening of drinks and take-out. I was very disappointed. Then my other bridesmaid said to me "can you text my ex and ask him to drop the kids off here as this is taking longer than I thought. Make sure you say I'm miserable though otherwise he will be annoyed with me". I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was being dropped. I had been so stressed and worried about the day as I needed to talk to them about so much, but they didn't seem to care. I felt as though neither of them wanted to be there or could muster any enthusiasm. I am still feeling hurt today, and I don't know what to do.
I understand they have their own lives but all I asked was for a few hours. They had plenty of time to organise everything.
Please if anyone can advise it would be much appreciated.Katie x

205 replies

  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Yeah... I had a look at Next, New Look, DP, Monsoon... nothing really. Everything is either very high or I don't like it. Any ideas?? Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    If you put a pic up i will have a look on websites for you im in work so its pretty quiet everyone is in bed you really need somewhere that you will be able to try on x💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    What colour are you after because you could match your colour scheme of blue just an idea xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    My colour scheme is berry tones and ivory. I have a pair of nude block heel sandals rhat I could wear. It would be nice to wear something a little special but it's not overly important. My dress is so long you probably won't see them. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Sorry hun dont know why i said blue ws busy so will have a look later had a parient fall so was crazy cx 💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I am sorry once again i got your colurs wrong so much for a quiet night in work xx but you still want to have a nice pair of shoes xx💗 sorry once again xc
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help! 1

    Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help! 2

    Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help! 3
    I know it sounds daft i picked these dont think there what your after but also try amazon xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hope your okay xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun sorry about the other night i am a nurse in a nursing home so it can be quiet one minute then loud 5 minutes later what did you think of the shoes in burgundy xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi lovely that's okay! I can't even imagine how tough your job must be. Bless you.
    I'm fine thank you, I really liked some on Amazon that was a good suggestion. Just what I was hoping for actually and a lot less pricey! Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun i only have 2 weeks left had enough love the job of being a nurse but not the staff im in charge of so im leaving nursing for a factory job xx Glad Amazon come in good xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    That's terrible , I've left a job before because of the staff, it's not a nice feeling. A factory job? That's a massive change from nursing xx it did, thank you xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    It is hun i love nursing and wil always have my nursing degree but working in covid time it puts so much pressure on everything the people who work under me are older and dont like the idea of someone younger being in charge but i do more work than what they do so i dont see the problem its a big change from nursing but it 9.30 to 2.30 monday to friday i will get to see my family more if you un💗rstand xx 💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I totally understand. I used to work in teaching but cause of Covid I lost my job and had to do something different to what I ever thought I would. It's not bad, just different. I'm used to moving about and being in a teaching role is very rewarding. Now I work in export and logistics. So yeah, I do get it. Though I see my family less, not more due to hours. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Thats such a shame to lose a job you love. Would you not go back into covid has hit everyone so hard x 💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I would love to go back. Unfortunately I darent as I don't think the jobs are very secure anymore. The job I have at the moment is, and with he wedding and my house, I can't risk it. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Totally get you my 8 year olds school has had 3 different teachers since they went back all for year 4 so i understand xx i would have stayed where i was but cant stand the way i am spoken to by staff even though i am above them xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun need help i found a hair salon near were we get married just looking at styles for my hair wasnt going to bother but changed my mind which one do you like my hair is red long and wavy xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help! 4
    They are all quite similiar x💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Ooh I really like no 2 (top right) and no 5 (bottom left) xx
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    That's horrid. Sounds like maybe they are a little jelly of you.
    Yeah it sucks, but least I have got something else, despite taking over a year! xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I know thanis hun i cant wait ti finish as much as i love nursing but c9vid puts it on wanting to finish as well seeing so much pain familiys not being able to visit and you then see people having partys when its against the rules this has done it for me also enjoy with shoes xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I know what you mean. My aunt is a nurse and she said it's been horrendous. Can't imagine how hard it must have been watching it from your perspective.
    Thank you, I pick them up tonight so we will see!! Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hi hun hows you yes it is hard thats why im lraving aldo made me realise family comes first x i have made some close relationships with some familys and still keep in touch with some whos relatives arent with us anymore they invite me to family celebrations which is really nice i was invited to a ladys grandaughters wedding once sadly she past away b4 it was such a special moment to be included xx LET ME KNOW AFTER HOW THEY ARE XX💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Hey hun, I'm just really tired and tbh still not feeling great. My H2B and I had a chat last night about seating chart.... omg. It qas so stressful and antagonising. He's so he's hellbent on getting my mam to sit with his brother and sister in law. Neither of us can stand them! They are not pleasant people. They are so materialistic, so superior. They look down on everyone. I said no, he said yes. It wasn't nice. Then our venue calls me today asking if I cam confirm seating arrangements!! She needs to know by the end lf the week.
    Sorry, rant over.
    It's lovely that you still remain close to some families, they mist really appreciate all you did for their loved ones and it says a lot about you as a person. 💗I will! When o pick them up I'll let you mnow how it goes xxx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Thats a hard one does your mam not mind sitting with them i know what you mean i have family like that my sister xx💗
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Thankyou hun really nice of you to say that x💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Trust me when I say she cannot stand them and does not want to sit on the same table. Xx
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Thats not good but you could not put them 2gether would cause a big comotion which you dont want at all x💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message

    I know. I don't know what to do. It's going to be something that causes an argument, and probably more than one. My H2B is very traditional in that sense, but he can't see the issues it's going to cause. Even if my mam said she'd do it I know there would be comments or glances which I dont need. xx

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Its hard when you dont want any arguments i understand him being traditional but he needs to see what problems it can cause and you dont want this on your wedding day its nice that your mam was willing to do it but like you said the way they are its not nice for her either xx💗
    • Reply
  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Exactly, it isn't really pleasant for anyone. I'll just have to keep talking to him about it. Unfortunately he thinks my mam is the awkward one, which is not true. They insult everyone who they meet with either their superiority complex or their greed. I have jot materialistic, I'm just not, but they are to the nth degree and we have clashed some fay 1. Xx
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

General groups

Hitched article topics