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Kate7695
Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire

Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help!

Kate7695, 20 of November of 2021 at 15:44

Posted on Etiquette and Advice 205

Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my...
Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my house. Neither of them said thank you and when we started talking about plans for the big day including dresses for them, the food, the schedule, one of them was sat arms crossed and didn't say anything other than "I don't like that" or "that colour isnt right". There was nothing constructive or helpful at all. My other bridesmaid took some notes and asked some questions but that was it. When I asked them about dresses, they both picked the same one. I wasn't really pleased as I wanted to go for mismatched dresses - how do I speak to them about this?

After a little more coaxing of answers from them and asking them for their help setting some decor up the day before, the makeup lady arrived. We all had our hair done then our makeup done.

All afternoon I offered drinks and food and if they were all comfy or needed anything. They refused all refreshment and when it got to late afternoon, one of my bridesmaids stood up and said "I'm going now". Her new boyfriend of 8 wks was picking her up. I had no knowledge of this as we had planned to have a late evening of drinks and take-out. I was very disappointed. Then my other bridesmaid said to me "can you text my ex and ask him to drop the kids off here as this is taking longer than I thought. Make sure you say I'm miserable though otherwise he will be annoyed with me". I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was being dropped. I had been so stressed and worried about the day as I needed to talk to them about so much, but they didn't seem to care. I felt as though neither of them wanted to be there or could muster any enthusiasm. I am still feeling hurt today, and I don't know what to do.
I understand they have their own lives but all I asked was for a few hours. They had plenty of time to organise everything.
Please if anyone can advise it would be much appreciated.Katie x

205 replies

  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    I think he needs to listen you and see you point a bit more without the both of you arguing he needs to be remind of all the times they have caused problems but to say its your mam is not on xx💗
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
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    No it's not! Honestly I was livid when he basically said my mam needs to behave and get on with them. 😡
    I'll have a chat with him tonight about it. Sometimes he needs to see that his family are not perfect - especially his brothers wife! Sorry trying not to rant, but she makes me lose my calm. Xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
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    You can rant as much as you like to me hun i dont mind i think he needs that talk. I spoke to my mum yesterday told her about how i felt at my uncles funeral x 😭 didnt go the way i wanted xx
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    Aww hun I'm so sorry. What happened? Xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    She basically said were not part of the family so we dont need a seat lets just say i walked out crying felt like i was worthless got home and had a drink which i dont do havent drank alcohol for ages xx💗
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    Aww hun, that's horrid. I'm sorry she spoke to you like that! You didn't deserve it. Xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Thanos hun but you know what when i got home and had a drink i realised im not bothered anymore its her loss and its not fair on kids but she made the decision got other stuff to deal with xx💗
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    It will be 4 years since i lost my MiL on sunday so just trying to keep my h2b occupied we were really close he would phone everday day and see her so each year is hard xx. Hows things with you other than what we talked about xx 💗
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
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    Aww, Im really sorry, it is really hard when you lose someone so close. I'm here if you need to talk xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Thanks hun but how are things other than seating problem xx💗
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  • Bliss
    Savvy October 2022 West Sussex
    Bliss ·
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    This behaviour is not on at all, I had 2 similar bridesmaids who were not interested at all! Didn’t want to speak about the wedding didn’t want to be there the night before or even bother with the hen do so I’ve politely told them I have changed my wedding party and no longer require their services. Was a tough conversation but I just couldn’t handle the energy
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Hi hun its my last night shift tonight cant wait xx How are you ??? X💗
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
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    Well I think I've managed to place everyone!
    Not too bad, I'm okay just plodding on! How are you? Xx
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
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    That's horrible! I'm sorry you had to go through that too, 😔
    Sometimes its just easier to cut them out of it. If they were really that uninterested then you're better off. Although I know it's not easy xx
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    Hi hun, how did it go?? I'm good thanks xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Hi hun glad your getting there Last shift was okay have 2 weeks of until my contract is sorted and they have a uniform for me i am officially no longer a nurse in work place but still by paper if you get what i mean im trying to stay awake dont see point of going to sleep when i can tonight xx💗
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    I'm glad you're okay. Enjoy your time off!
    I know exactly what you mean. My H2B works nights so when he has a day off his sleep cycle is all messed up. Xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Yes totally have you got any plans over easter xx 💗
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help! 1
    This is me h2b and daughter so i have a pic on here
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
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    Happy easter to you both xx💗
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
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    Yes and no. Next weekend we are going to the races as one of my hen activities so yesterday me and my mam went yo a little shop to hire some fascinators/hatinators. They ate gorgeous. Today qe had a lovely meal and tomorrow we are going to have a picnic. What about you? Xx
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    Happy Easter hun xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    We went to races but car races with the kids went yesterday and today was good day xx you will have to post a pic of them glad you got to spend time having a girly day with your mum xx💗 we have just had a roast xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    MOrning hun hope you both have a lovely and a nice picnic xx💗
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695 ·
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    Morning lovely, thank you so much. I hope you have a great day too xx
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    That sounds fun! It was really mice just having a day with her with nothing else going on. Don't get many of them. Ooh I love a roast dinner. What did you have?
    If you get chance, and don't mind, would you please have a look at a discussion I started regarding my mother in law? The first section is a bit all of the the place cause I was so angry when I was typing it up, but I've explained more in the comments. I really need some advice 💗xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
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    Hi hun we had chicken with carrots turnip yorshire puddings boiled and roast potatoes was lovely glad the day was what you wanted xx 💗will have a look x
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    Ooh that sounds nice. We had roast chicken, mash, root mash, sugar snap peas, Yorkshire puds and Broccoli very yummy 😋 xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
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    Hummmmmmmx 💗
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Read your post xx
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
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    I have thank you xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    You can help me. Not wedding related school related. X💗
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