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Kate7695
Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire

Unenthusiastic bridesmaids - having doubts about who i asked. Please help!

Kate7695, 20 of November of 2021 at 15:44

Posted on Etiquette and Advice 205

Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my...
Okay, so last weekend my bridesmaids and I had our first makeup and hair trial. It took (literally) months to organise as my 2 bridesmaids would not answer my messages or get back to me. Eventually we all settled on a date and I organised everything. I picked my friends up and brought then to my house. Neither of them said thank you and when we started talking about plans for the big day including dresses for them, the food, the schedule, one of them was sat arms crossed and didn't say anything other than "I don't like that" or "that colour isnt right". There was nothing constructive or helpful at all. My other bridesmaid took some notes and asked some questions but that was it. When I asked them about dresses, they both picked the same one. I wasn't really pleased as I wanted to go for mismatched dresses - how do I speak to them about this?

After a little more coaxing of answers from them and asking them for their help setting some decor up the day before, the makeup lady arrived. We all had our hair done then our makeup done.

All afternoon I offered drinks and food and if they were all comfy or needed anything. They refused all refreshment and when it got to late afternoon, one of my bridesmaids stood up and said "I'm going now". Her new boyfriend of 8 wks was picking her up. I had no knowledge of this as we had planned to have a late evening of drinks and take-out. I was very disappointed. Then my other bridesmaid said to me "can you text my ex and ask him to drop the kids off here as this is taking longer than I thought. Make sure you say I'm miserable though otherwise he will be annoyed with me". I couldn't believe it. I felt like I was being dropped. I had been so stressed and worried about the day as I needed to talk to them about so much, but they didn't seem to care. I felt as though neither of them wanted to be there or could muster any enthusiasm. I am still feeling hurt today, and I don't know what to do.
I understand they have their own lives but all I asked was for a few hours. They had plenty of time to organise everything.
Please if anyone can advise it would be much appreciated.Katie x

205 replies

  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695
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    Sure!! What's up?? Xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle
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    My sons school has started swimming but because of his autism he is refusing but the school has said he has to go because its the curriculm can they make him go im so angry and upset xx the head was a b###h when i said he wasnt going x
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695
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    I can tell you right now, they cannot make a child do anything. Once a parent says no, that's it. They may not like it but they cannot force them. If he has additional requirements or need more support that should be in place. My friend has a child with autism and she hated going in the water. What they did do however was let her warmth for a couple of weeks and sit at the edge. Many kids qith autism need reassurance when entering an unfamiliar environment that they will be okay and that the new thing (whatever it is) isn't so scary. Xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle
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    Yes this i can understand but if they tell him they are going swimming they will not get him on the bus x馃挆
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695
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    Mhm... does he have any 1:1 support? Could he not sit with a teacher and be told he is going to watch, not partake? X
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
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    Hi hun his 1 on 1 support is of and they camt get the cover. I spoke to his teacher he said we will do it gradually step by step wish his headteacher could have been more understanding xx thankyou glad i have you too talk to xx馃挆
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695
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    Hi lovely, its poor management they didn't have his 1:1 covered. I would have been fired if I had done that!
    It should be a gradual introduction and it may take a few weeks for him to get used tp the idea, but they should be more understanding.
    If you need anything at all just give me a message, I'm always here xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
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    I know thanks again hun xx馃挆
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle
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    Hi hun just thought i would let you know about swimming he went but didnt get changed just sat and watched so hopefully he might change his mind soon thanks for the help with this hope your both okay xx馃挆
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  • Kate7695
    Dedicated May 2022 East Riding of Yorkshire
    Kate7695
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    Hi hun, that's really great news! I'm really happy for you and fingers crossed 馃 good progress is made. I hope he dodnt feel too overwhelmed. Thanks, not really had a really bad argument with my H2B parents. Xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle
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    Why what have they done now x馃挆
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle
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    Hi hun hope you have had a nice weekend xx馃挆.. How are things future inlaws x
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle
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    Hi hun hope all is okay xx馃挆
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